Limitations

I. am. so. very. exhausted.

I think I've pushed myself to as far as I could go in terms of Ministry Partner Development this week. I was three appointments away from the all-time record number of appointments in a week. So close yet so far. I'll try for the record again another week, but now that I know my limits, it's time to work out a schedule that would actually be sustainable for the next 2.5 months.

God has been so good in big and little ways this week. I am thoroughly enjoying MPD, but I definitely need to catch up on some R&R.

I loved how God showed up in little ways yesterday. It was so sweet. In the morning I dashed out of Guelph, running a bit late for an appointment in Toronto. In my bag was a stash of thank you cards that I had to mail out that day. The area I was heading to was not part of my "hood" when I lived in TO so I had no idea where mailboxes or post offices were. Plus I had three appointments scheduled back to back so there was no time to stop in between anyways.

Upon finishing my first appointment, lo and behold, what should be parked outside the building, but a Canada Post truck!

Then later in the day I was running low on gas, but I had no time to stop and fill up since I was dashing between appointments. I was looking for an Esso gas station since that's the only place that I fill up because of their aeroplan awards, but I didn't know of any Essos around the place I was driving to. As I pulled into the plaza, what should be there, but an Esso gas station?

Truly, truly God is good.

Three Words

My cup overflows.

I am so happy right now. My heart is just brimming over with joy. The more I practice my VACA, the more I love where God has placed me.

Placement

I am going to Toronto!

I was so nervous before I opened up my placement because never has such a major decision been made for me, but I am so ecstatic to be a part of such a cool and fun team.

I literally jumped, screamed, and cartwheeled when I found out. I was outside by the freeway so it was all good.

God is good!

Ministry Essentials Training

Well we are half way through MET.

I can't believe I'm here. After gunning for staff for all these years I'm here. These past four days have blown my mind away. This really is Ministry ESSENTIALS Training.

There was this one point when Dave was addressing us at lunch as staff, and I remembered looking up expecting to see the staff that I knew. I blanked for a minute before I realized he was talking to us. I definitely don't feel like a staff. What's a staff suppose to feel like? Hahaha.

Loooooooove it!

Building Into the Next Generation

Carolyn McCulley often encourages women on her blog Solo Femininity to build into the next generation even as singles. Being in Arizona, I have the rare opportunity to hang out with my CUTE cousins, and build into them. They are THE sweetest, cutest, loveliest, most tender hearted kids. So I love them to bits and pieces.

Today I got to go to their school and have lunch with Drew, my little boy cousin who's in second grade. We had subs and then we watched him play soccer with the rest of the boys. Man, are they rough! I was shocked. That's definitely something I'd have to get use to if I ever have sons.

Then tonight I got to take Jordan, my little girl cousin who's in fourth grade out on a date after dinner. She reminds me of me when I was her age. She loves books and arts, my two favourite hobbies. We went to Barnes and Nobles, the States' equivalent of Chapters, and hung out there for 1.5 hour browsing books. It was fun being in the kids' section and reading all the books.

Afterwards we went to Starbucks for some awesome coffee and settled down to read a few stories out of Jesus Freaks, this book I bought Jor for her birthday. It was so cool. She sat in my lap. We read the stories and then we talked about being persecuted for our faith just a wee bit, and we prayed for people who were being persecuted around the world. I wish they lived closer so I could hang out with them more!

Discipline VS Pruning

Yesterday my Aunt Mel and I hiked up to the Romero Pools in Catalina State Park. It was an AMAZING hike. We were in the desert, but there were all these cool vegetation around. As we hiked I got to pick my aunt's brain about marriage, children, and family. It was really cool to hear her stories and her perspective on stuff. Sort of like an informal discipleship time.

When we got to the pools she read to me from the book The Secrets of the Vine by Bruce Wilkinson. It just so happened that the chapter was on pruning. The main wisdom that I gleaned from the chapter was that there's a significant difference between discipline and pruning even though both are uncomfortable. The Lord uses discipline to bring us out of sin while He prunes to make us bring forth more fruit. There was a whole chart on it.

It struck a chord with me because this whole time I've been viewing Ministry Partner Development (MPD) as sort of a disciplining process. Coming at it from that perspective, I was trying to think of all the sin that I could possibly commit so as to avoid them so that I could finish MPD faster. But now I realize that it is more of a pruning process that God uses so that I would be more fruitful in the future. This makes me so much more willing to endure the discomfort and so much more willing to go through a longer process. I thank Him for this lesson learned the easier way.

Mars Hill Church

I usually try to avoid the latest fads because I hate being a "bandwagoner", but I always end up jumping on the bandwagon anyway. Case in point: Mark Driscoll, and Mars Hill Church. Many people around me were raving about, listening to, and reading Driscoll. Eventually my curiosity got the better of me. I listened to one of his sermons, and I loved it! So solid AND culturally relevant.

One of THE highlights was the chance to visit Mars Hill Church during my visit to Olympia/Seattle. We went to the 7pm service. I was so giddy, excited, and really trying hard not to act like a teeny bopper tourist.

The sermon was on Nehemiah Chapter 5:14-19. It was SO good! Kinda weird seeing Mark preach live though after listening to all those sermons. I really wanted to meet him afterwards, but I guess there's enough yahoos in Seattle for him not to be available to the general public. There were security guards at the service!

So instead of talking to Pastor Mark Driscoll, I headed for the book shop where I almost cleaned them out. I also got two cds of their live worship. Amazing.

This guy and this church is just so inspirational. Being there stoked my passion for Christ and the desire to reach out to our culture instead of just being frustrated with it.

I am so excited to see him at Staff Conference, and I am most definitely planning a return trip to Mars Hill when I hit up Seattle/Olympia in July.

It Just So Happened...

Before I left Guelph for Olympia, I had asked my mom to ask her friend if I could speak at their church, meet their pastor, etc... to develop ministry partners. The answer that I got was that usually they don't allow random people to speak, and that they didn't have a pastor yet as they're a church plant. So I just let it go thinking God had other plans.

When we arrived in Olympia it just so happened that on one of the nights that we were there someone had to deliver the program for Sunday to my "auntie". It just so happened that, that someone turned out to be the "leader" of the church who was introduced to me, who asked me for my testimony and calling, who then invited me to speak at the college/careers group, and at the end of that meeting, invited me to speak at the service on Sunday. Praise God!

By the end of the visit, various contacts were made, plans were cemented for a return trip in July for official MPD appointments, and I was fully supported for MET. I had left Ontario with about $500 in cheques and pledges for MET. I was assuming that the rest would come in after I left, and Becky would bring them to MET with her. I also brought my MasterCard just in case...But in Olympia, my auntie and her husband gave me a cheque and the church gave me a cheque that just pushed me right over. I definitely didn't see that one coming. God is SO good.

Around this time I was going through Mark Driscoll's series on Ruth, and one of the themes he was teaching on was the theme of God's invisible hand of providence. I definitely saw God's hand of providence in Olympia. Praise the LORD!

Check!

Things I've Always Wanted To Do That I've Done:

~See Port Angeles
~See Mt. St. Helens'/Volcano
~Go digging for oysters

Today we went to the cove for FREE fresh oysters. There were piles and piles of oysters just laying there for the taking. The sad thing was I couldn't take the saltiness and the fishiness of it without any cocktail sauce. The thing stayed in my mouth for a few minutes while I debated whether to swallow or spit. In the end I had to spit it out. It was making me sick. Sad, as I love oysters, and they're usually $20 a dozen. Snifff........
















I got greedy just seeing all of these oysters. I wanted to take them all home, but now I'm feeling somewhat sick from eating a dozen of them at the Buffet. God-willing, I'm not getting food poisoning. That would...SUCK.














Here's the picture of me trying to decide whether to swallow or spit. Notice the look of utter disgust.














My dad and I took off our shoes to get close to the oysters. Later he scraped off the mud with a clam shell to put his shoes back on. He found me a shell too, but I made him carry me over the rocky beach back to shore to wash my feet off at the faucet because I didn't want to get the new shoes that my mom got me dirty. I heart my dad. Yes, spoiled indeed.

Impromptu Speaker

I've been asked to speak at the college group of my Auntie's church. They asked to me say something to encourage them to live for Christ. So I've decided to speak about the Spirit-filled life.

Please pray for me!!!!

Sleepless in Seattle

Well I'm in Seattle and sleepless too. It's a gorgeous place. Very Vancouver-esque as expected. Absolutely lush and romantic. Sigh. The greenness is so refreshing.

When I was flying over Houston, the trees looked a bit odd to me. Then I realized it was because they were green and fully of leaves looking like spring instead of the deathly gray that is spring in Guelph right now.

We're going to Mark Driscoll's church on Sunday hopefully. A taste of what's to come at Staff Conference. I'm so excited. We're also going to find the very first Starbucks. I'm totally teefing Vanessa's plans for Seattle, but I'll find more of my own.

Rambling Reflection

I am sitting at my laptop at 2:21am in the morning waiting for 3:00 to arrive so that Becky, Ashley C/K, and I can drive me to the airport for my crazy flight to Seattle via Houston.

Today I woke up and thought to myself I am no longer a university student. I am in the real world now, and it scared me.

The thought of arriving home from MET to an empty house, to moving again to a new place, to starting new friendships freaked me out. Loneliness is a scary thought.

Life is clearer but at the same time more mysterious. I know Who and What I live for, but wherever that takes me is veiled.

But I'm glad I'm not in this alone. The Lord has blessed me with such awesome friends to make this transition with. I felt much better talking about the big changes in our lives with Ashley.

I had a crazy busy day today having one last dates with some awesome friends, reliving our friendships.

Had a last DG dinner. My girls Emily specifically made me a scrapbook. Oh what a treasure. Everytime I have doubts about my calling, I'm going to look back to that book. Discipleship is so hard to measure...but it's good to know that God is using me for some good.

It has been an amazing four years. I enjoyed and treasured every moment of it as I walked across campus for class, studying, meetings, appointments, campaign blitzes, prayer walks, evangelism. God knew what He was doing when He directed me here. I wouldn't trade it for anything else. Not even Harvard.

Officially Done

Macro in an Open Economy
11:30-1:30
MacKinnon 117

That was my final final of my B.A.

I am officially done my undergraduate.

Weird...

Eureka

Yesterday I had an eureka moment. I brushed off the cobwebs and pulled out my tablet. For once I was itching to sketch. Followed a tutorial online to CG, but it just wouldn't blend properly. Then I figured out that I was on the wrong pressure setting. Eureka. I am now on my way to CG awesomeness.

[szechuan dialect]
xin sua hua diao la

[literal translation]
heart play wild lost la (no translation for the "la" it's just a sound)

[translation]
your heart's gone wild because of all the fun you've been having and now you've lost control...

...something along those lines

Always used as a rebuke when I was growing up whenever I spent anytime away from scholastic endeavours. Always thought it was overrated and didn't apply until now. Mum just used it on me and for once I didn't counter it. Tis true. Tis sad but true. I was more disciplined when I was younger...quite possibly because I didn't have a license or a car to drive to the bookstore to read manga the day before an exam.

Reinvention

Not of this blog, but the topic of reinvention of oneself. Wednesday Becky, Vanessa, and I hung out talking about cabbages and kings. We touched the topic of reinvention and whether people we use to know have changed and how we've changed ourselves.

Looking back to high school I was definitely a geek. I was into anime, manga, gamed-RPGs, went to cons, and cosplayed. If you didn't understand any of those terms, that's ok. You just don't know the full extent of my geekdom. And if you understood without me explaining well all that...then we're in the same boat. So apparently I reinvented myself. At first I thought that wasn't true.

It was just a lack of disposable income that stifled the expensive hobby:
1)FF carried over to PS2. No money for PS2 much less the games.
2)Convicted about pirated software so got rid of Photoshop. Did not have 700 bones to get a real copy.
3)Once you use Copic you can't go back, but I was too poor to buy them anymore. $7 a pop for an uber nice marker is too much. Unless I was a professional. [In my dreams.]
4)No time to earn money either.

But then as I thought about it maybe I did reinvent myself. Or rather Someone reinvented me. Something bigger grabbed ahold of my heart. Even if I had the disposable income would I have spent it on those things? Probably not. I've also chosen to spend most of my spare time in ministry. Priorities have changed.

Still a geek though. Not going to lie. Definitely still got the otaku within. <3 Still got the love for drawing and daydreaming stories. In fact I filled a third of my sketchbook with solid sketches this semester. Quite a feat considering I've had artist's block for about two years.

Now what?
I want to create a manga to stimulate thinking on spirituality and point people to the Truth instead of all the pseudo po-mo stuff out there, and I want to create a manga for girls addressing relationships/beauty/contentment/singleness, etc...Not that I am an expert, but...

Stay tuned.

Discretion

May I direct your attention to the little disclaimer to the right of this post?

The timing's apt coinciding with a decrease in my blogging. I use to be the avid blogger, blogging whatever came to mind with no discretion. Now the folly of my youth is up for the entire world to read until I find a way to archive without deleting everything.

Reflecting on this blogging phenomenon, it just shocked me how easily I spilled everything to the world. I've been reading a book on the Cultural Revolution lately. One wrong word in those days could very easily mean death. Yet here I am throwing words around flippantly.

In the beginning I definitely did it for the attention. Read: Ordinary People Afterwards it was just used to keep my friends updated. Then...there was nothing blogworthy. My thoughts just seemed silly.

On My Own

In my head I keep thinking that I'm "moving out on my own" this year even though I pretty much have been living "on my own" for the past four years. I guess I mean that I'm going to be fully independent, cutting the last apron string that ties me to my parents.

The one thing I'm looking forward to most is getting my own place. Setting up house. Just thinking about me gets me excited. I can't wait to go to Ikea or Wal-Mart and get dishes and plates that match! Woo-hoo! Or buying a full set of quality pots and pans that won't burn...easily. Or getting a wok and steamers, and really cool spatulas. There's also blenders, bread-makers, and etc...Ok, now I just sound...nerdy and materialistic.

I've been planning out an imaginary apartment in my head. Today I designed an arts studio in my head also known as the other half of the living room or maybe even the full thing assuming I get a one BR apartment. I'd like a really modern one with a really wide table with a glass top with my laptop and Wacom tablet (I pronounce it "Whack 'em"). One that gives lots of elbow room for large sprawling sketches.

That said I probably wouldn't invest in all that much with the potential of a STINT still looming in the future or be able to buy all that stuff at once, but man is it ever fun to dream.

But burn proof pots and pans....those are a must.

Reversal

May 2006:
I had just finished my third year of university, and was still a student. It was my first time out in the wild wild west of Canada in the beautiful city of Calgary. The second week of national project was almost done. I had just been hired by Home Depot to be a paint mixer for $10 an hour.

Beth had just graduated from the University of Guelph with a BA Honours. She was no longer a student, but a newly commissioned staff member with Campus Crusade for Christ. MET had just finished, and she was just stopping over in Calgary for a few short hours with other fellow new staffers from Guelph and other places.

We met up at Calgary's airport while they were on their layover and caught up on who was placed where.

May 2007:
This time Beth is in Calgary, also as a Rocky Mountain project participant, but with the slight difference that she is staff. She'll be the one driving in to the airport and the one with the nice bed to sleep in for the night.

I'll be the one flying into Calgary for a layover. Freshly done my fourth and last year I'll no longer be a student either. Coming from MET, I'll be a newly commissioned staff member with Campus Crusade for Christ.

But again God-willing we'll meet up at Calgary's airport to pass the time during our layover to catch up on who's placed where.

It's so weird how things change and don't change in a year. It's really cool actually. It just blows my mind the stuff that God can orchestrate, and the sense of humour that He has.

Deals

I love bargains. It must be the chinese in me. Why pay full price for something when you can get it for a lower price?

Some of my favourite deals:
1) Getting an authentic $90 (excluding tax) Paul Frank watch for $15 BRAND NEW
2) Campus Crew pants for $10 for two years now, but not consecutively
3) Paying $7 for a brand new skirt that was about $30-40

Then today I paid ONE loonie for an orchid. They usually go for about $40+ per plant. There was a clincher on the this one though. The bloom broke off, but it's still alive. The trick now is to make it bloom again.

MPD Resolutions

Resolved to be always joyous throughout this process, maintaining a cheerful, a grateful, and a faithful attitude.

Resolved to always persevere, praying harder, and working harder especially when the going gets tough.

Resolved to live free of the fear of men.

Resolved to live and work diligently.

Resolved to love everyone that I meet.

Resolved to keep my eyes on Jesus.

Resolved to enjoy this season of life...

through God's grace.


I am excited to begin this journey and discover what God has in store. It's such an exciting time of life. W0000000000~

Warning: Failure is Imminent

Last night when I returned home, the title of this blog was a part of a message that alerted me to the fact that my hard drive was about to sputter and die. No kidding! The guy was taking 45 minutes to boot every day in the past week. The humor of it just hit me this morning; the message aptly described my dread as I was desperately cramming for two "quizzes".

New Addiction: Photo-Imaging

My newest addiction of choice: Picasa 2. It offers a user-friendly photo-imaging system for free. It's nowhere as extensive as Adobe Photoshop, but for something that costs $0 you're definitely getting a lot of BANG for your buck.

Today I spent a few hours "doctoring" the 100 or so pictures that I took at College Royal last night. Pictures that once would have been designated for the recycling bin were salvaged. The lighting was horrible as can be expected from a formal. Framing was really hard since people were dancing, and my little Nikon had only so much power, BUT with Picasa, quite a few of the rejects were turned into my favourites.

For example this picture of Rachel D. and Silas walking down Old Quebec Mall. The lighting was so poor that in the original, which I don't have anymore, you could barely see the outline of Rachel and Silas. I added some light, turned it into a black and white with a bit of focal colour and voila, one of my favourite shots. I really like the contrast between the colours themselves as well. That definitely wasn't planned on my part.

The Black and White focal colour feature is definitely my favourite feature from Picasa. I love the splash of colour amidst a black and white photo. The contrast is gorgeous. You get the best of both worlds. Lydia posted a picture like this on her website, but it was a feature on her camera. I really loved that picture of the green standing out amidst the graytone. I thought I had to save up for a Canon to get it. It is a bit different than Picasa's feature because I think Canon just filters out certain colours; in this case it seems to be the green in Lydia's room. I could be wrong. But Picasa is just as good, and it's free!

I used the B&W with focal colour again in this shot of Tom. For this picture I cropped it a bit so that the eye would move from Tom to the light in the upper left hand corner and back. It also gives an impression that the light is shining on Tom, basking him in living colour. Since it was a really classy yet modern pose, I again did the whole B&W with the focal colour. The pastel blue, pink, and green really made the picture stand out. This was a mediocre picture in the beginning in terms of framing and lighting, but now in terms of composition this has got to be one of my favourites.


Another pauper turned prince picture was this self-shot picture of Sarah, Katie, and me. Again the lighting was horrible, well actually cruel. It had no mercy on our skin. The glare was really bad. The framing was typical of a self-shot; boring, because my arm movements were limited, but hey, I had to capture memories some how... Katie had a killer outfit on. One of my favourites of the entire night. I wanted to focus on that, so with the handy dandy B&W focal color tool I was able to bring out the red accent of Katie's outfit.


Of the 100-ish pictures there was only one photo that I didn't "doctor". It was a winner the first time around. A rarity at College Royal. Presenting Alex Wong. For one thing, Alex was willing to hold that pose while my camera was charging so there was no blurr. I used flash, which usually kills a picture, but it was surprisingly nice to Alex. I think the boy just has good skin.

Of course after all that shameless promotion for photo re-imaging, there needs to be a little caveat. I don't think photo-imaging is a replacement for good photography skills. I blame it all on the lighting of course. ;)

And if you were wondering if I doctored my profile picture. The answer is a resounding yes! My skin is not naturally that nice.

One of the Best Things in the World...

One of the best things in the world has got to be the relief felt upon finishing a paper. There's nothing like the joy in your heart as the last page eases out of the printer, the bounce in your step as you go to hand it in, the weight off of your shoulders. Definitely one of the best feelings in the world, but of course you have to go through at least a week of agonizing stress to reach that point.

Friday was the day that I finished my very last paper of my undergrad. Hip hip hurray, and an extra huzzah! The sun was streaming down on me, as I thoroughly savoured that moment. It seemed like everything in the world was ok.

Just When You Think You Know a Person...

...you find out that you don't.

Silas tagged me for "5 Things People Don't Know About Me" chain. the deal is that you list five things people don't usually know about you and tag 3 other people to continue the chain. Well hopefully my list of five things will boggle your mind. That's my underlying agenda.

1. Throughout all of high school, most of my preparation for post-secondary education was for art school. I was planning on going into animation or design. Business was my second choice, but I chickened out at the last minute because a college education was not as "prestigious" as a university education in my head. No pressure from mom. And I was scared of being a starving artist on the street because I had confidence issues. Sometimes I question this decision, but I have no doubt that God brought me to the University of Guelph for a reason. Now I don't think I would really care if I had a prestigious education or not--probably due to the fact that I'll get my pricey piece of paper in three months, so I think I would go to art school. Perhaps art still will be in my future someday.

2. In high school I tried out for the Miss Chinese Toronto beauty pageant, and when I was rejected, I was REALLY REALLY upset. In fact I threw a hissy fit. Literally. Sometimes it still hits a sore spot.

3. Sweet "girly" girls usually irritate me before I get to know them well because they remind me of what I am not, sweet and "girly". I know there are issues here. But who doesn't have them?

4. I have a barely visible, but still visible nonetheless scar on my right cheek [of the face not of the rear] from a dog bite that I got when I was in grade 3.

5. My worst fear is that someday I'll walk away from my faith not because I don't think it's true anymore but because of exogenous reasons such as temptation, hardship, torture, etc...

I tag Low on the Go, The Fish, and Kijirs

Mid-Night Poetry

Awakened in the night,
By a wee bit of stage fright,
I sit here bathed in computer's light,
Stomach grumbling and rumbling for a bite.

In early morn wake ups I do not delight,
For at midday heavy eyelids I must fight,
By drinking, nay, chugging caffiene with all my might,
Stomach churning and twisting from butterflies' flight.

Oh what a night, what a night.
(c) 2007 Shelly Chen

Woke up @ 4:30am this morning, and couldn't go back to sleep. Major presentation today. Although the butterflies are most likely the result of the mug of green tea downed at 9:30 last night. A bit of the jitters are probably for the presentation. On a brighter note, it seems the creative juices seem to flow better at 4:30 in the morning.

I.S.A.D.

In honour of the Hallmark holiday most popularly known as Valentine's Day, but a.k.a. International Singles Awareness Day, I give you:
DTR: Defining the Relationship; The Conversation We All Dread.



My favourite is "God has a wonderful plan for my life...and you're not part of it." XD!
ENJOY! and a Happy Valentine's Day to all.
v^_^v

Roses are...black?

Baccara. Baccara roses. Black roses.

Technically they're not black. Dommage. I actually thought that they were genetically modified to turn black, but they're just an intense deep shade of burgundy. Nevertheless the 2 feet Baccara, Pierre, in my room is simply regal. It's absolutely breathtaking. I can go on and on...

Driving to church yesterday I noticed the quaint flower shop near the Salvation Army church advertise these black beauties and I knew I just had to get one. One cool thing about growing up is that I can finally achieve some childhood dreams o' mine. This being one of them. I took a zillion pictures of Pierre, because sadly he's not going to last, and Guelph doesn't come by Baccaras easily. Nor can I justify filling my vase with one weekly.

Not Again

So you're standing there listen to her talking....it's more like ranting. She's rehashing the same thing over and over again. The exact same topic, but said in slightly different ways. Yet not different enough to be interesting. "Come on I get the point. Really I do." She's run over the subject till it's dead and six feet under. You want to get out of the conversation to talk to someone else, but how do you do it in a polite manner? You shift your eyes. You nod, but oh that just got her going on another mini rant. How long is this going to last? It seems like the minutes are dragging....

Ok friends, I know for a fact that I have put you through this. If you've known me for an extended period of time, i.e. more than a day I have put you through this. Thank you for your grace, patience, and friendship, and for listening! :) I really appreciate it, and I'll try not to dwell on things too much.

For the Record

Hey Me in the Future,

For the record in the last semester of university at the age of 21, I was into, in no particular order or any semblance of organization.

1. watching HOUSE with Chelsea
2. the colour green, preferably a shade of lime with some turquoise thrown in
3. puzzling over sudokus in class
4. eyeing things at different angles to see if it would make a good photograph
5. plain black tea with milk and lots of sugar
6. the song of WC '06 "Mighty to Save"
7. laughing uncontrollaby at "farq-u-harson"
8. indian food

Tagged!

Katie V has made my day, I've been tagged.
So...here we go!

The Rules of Tagging
-grab the nearest book to me,
-turn to page 123,
-read 4 lines down
-record the next 3 lines
-tag 3 people

"...ordination of the apostles Jesus' first concern was with the multitudes while afterward the emphasis shifted to the disciples, and especially to the Twelve (Henry Latham, op.cit., pp.188-269. Whether such a deci..."

p.123 The Master Plan of Evangelism By Robert Coleman

To give context the book is a wee book, not even an inch thick so the excerpt is actually from the footnotes. Not the actual text. My DG's reading it this semester.

I tag: Lydia of the Low, Zoe, Lady of Klintberg, and Dan the Man Richardsen

Application for Graduation

Signed, sealed, and....waiting for it to be delivered. I have applied to graduate.

Shelly Chen
Bachelor of Arts, Honours.
Major International Development
Emphasis Economic and Business Development
Minor Economics

No turning back now. It's terrifying. Graduation is like this oncoming massive locomotive that seems to be rushing towards me. I've worked to get here for the past 16 years of my life. Now that the end is looming, it's like, "So this is it?"

I know I'm on staff and all, but that's the real world. A part of me wants to stay on being a student just so I can stay in the nest.

Grad school anyone?

Staying Put

It's settled. I'm staying here in Canada for this coming year. STINT is a no-go, at least for this year. I'm a bit disappointed, but not really. Both options had its perks and challenges. There's a part of me that's a bit relieved that I won't have to support-raise my entire salary within two-three months of graduation and then jet off to another continent. Although I'm still praying that I'll be on campus by next September.

No need to sell off the furniture. No need to pack and move everything back to New York. No need to miss out on experiencing the "firsts" of staff with my friends.

One more year to train and prepare. One more year to enjoy the freedoms, the comforts, and the beauty of Canada. One more year to improve my language skills. One more year to get to go to Summit and WC. OH AND THE POSSIBILITY OF GOING ON PROJECT AS STAFF.

Hey so overall I think I'm actually pretty pumped about staying here.

Asian Parents...

are complex, funny beings. I think I'm finally starting to figure them out.

A Thousand Words

You know what they say about pictures; one is worth a thousand words. Inspired by the photos that Beth posted on her blog, I took up my camera again, and returned to my asian roots this week. It's really helping me to beat the winter blahs by seeing the beauty in the everyday. This world is full of signs of God's grace. Seeing as how my blog has been lacking in words, perhaps my pictures will make up for it.

May I introduce signs of grace my new photoblog. For now it'll be old pictures because I've lost my USB adapter for my camera. There is a sinking feeling that it might be somewhere in Austria, but once I get another cable, I'll be able to upload some pictures that I've been taking recently.

I'm excited to see how far I can push my little Nikon. Silas' advice about using what one has really challenged me. That's not to say I don't want bigger and better toys though. :D Mhmmm...Digi SLRs.

Vindicated

"Starbucks runs into a forbidding PR attack."

When I was at the Forbidden City, I was really peeved at the Starbucks that was housed there. Now I am as much of an aficionado of Starbuck's as any other coffee lover, but to see a Starbuck's in the Forbidden city was such an insult. So much so that I tried (unsuccessfully) to boycott it. Despite my lack of self-control I was still annoyed at the multinational corporation because you don't see Starbucks at other cultural sites. i.e. The Louvre or The Pyramids.

So when I read the the almost full page article on how Starbucks is getting bad PR, I felt vindicated. The article is in the National Post, and expresses much of my sentiments exactly.

"All I want is for Starbucks to move out of the Forbidden City peacefully; quietly. And we'll continue enjoying Starbucks elsewhere in the city." Amen brother!

Tray-Bogganing

Tonight after our volleyball game, my girls and I hiked it to this huge hill in Guelph to go tray-bogganing. That is to slide down hills on food trays, and slide down we did. The key apparently is to keep your feet in the air.

1 down 11 more left

Last night it hit me as I was greeting and hugging familiar faces at the Weekly Meeting that this is THE last semester for me to be a part of the wonderful community of C4Cers at Guelph. It has finally sunk in, but I really don't know how to deal with it. Time please stop while I get my head around this.

Bang

Talk about starting the year off with a bang. Tonight we, as in two of my housemates and I spent half of the evening at the one and only Guelph General Hospital ER. Why? Just so we could watch some Apprentice. No actually, all kidding aside, Chelsea our brand spanking new roommate cut her finger on a can and needed stitches so we accompanied her.

Freeze or Frump

Oh, the tyranny of fashion.

This year's dilemma: "Do I want to freeze or do I want to look frumpy?" Mini-skirt/capris' or thick sweaters/cardigans? At least that's the way it seems to me. Not that all sweaters and cardigans equal frump for everyone. But woe is me! because I can't pull them off without looking middle aged. 'Tis sad. 'Tis sad. I won't even venture into the other "option"...The storefronts look like they're in the middle of summer when it's December outside. Bah humbug!

Quote of the Exam Time

Calvin: "You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood."
Hobbes: "What mood is that?"
Calvin: "Last-minute panic."

Replace creativity with discipline, and that'll describe me perfectly. The irony is I found that quote in Cheryl's profile while I was browsing through the Rocky Mountain Project memory book.

Feathers in the Wind

A post is like a sack bulging with down feathers, words ready to be let loose to the whole world in a single moment, never to be reclaimed. One click, and it's there for the whole world to see for better or for worse.

But then if I really think about it, it's only my friends who read this blog, and the occasional creepy stalker from Iceland. I have nothing against Iceland it's just the first country that popped into my head. Unless my blog really merits literary attention, which it doesn't at this point, no stranger would venture again into this domain after one viewing. So why am I hesitant about posting now? These possibilities have never stopped me before. Have I grown wiser or more paranoid? Or both?

It's not that I lack words. Not at all, I've been stuffing that sack full of feathers. I'm just reluctant to let go of it. The end may be coming...maybe.

"and...she's staff"

the dg on the day i was accepted as staff was our christmas/chilling dg. kirsten brought us lots of goodies. chocolate balls, jujubes, mini candy canes, and jelly beans. at one point i was sprawled in my chair, head tilted back, with a mini candy cane covered in slobber sticking out of my mouth like a five year old. kirsten looks over, and says "and...she's staff."

needless to say i promptly sucked the candy cane back into my mouth out of sight, and snapped to attention. i just thought it was so funny. i'll definitely remember it in years to come.

it's official

i got accepted as staff with Campus Crusade for Christ today. :)

reconnected

i'd never thought i'd say this, but i'm grateful for facebook, and ultimately to God.

at first when facebook was catching on, everyone was extolling the virtues of facebook, accrediting to it the rediscovery of old friends. i have to admit i was jaded. with all the moving that i've done across state lines and across international borders in the past 12 years, i could barely remember the full names of some of my friends. there would be no way for me to reconnect with old friends. i'd have to make due with just adding present ones. or so i thought.

on a whim yesterday i decided to search for the names of some of my dearest friends from my youth. just for the heck of it. just to see if by any chance, they'd jumped on the bandwagon too. the friends that made such a lasting impact that i actually remembered their full names. so i actually found a few from my junior high!

but that's not the most extraordinary thing. i found my best friend from grade 3!!! grade THREE! i've always wished that i would still have friends that i've known from childhood, and now i'm reconnected to my best friend from grade 3! i haven't seen her or talked to her, or had contact with her in a decade at least. i'm just so excited and so giddy and just....jubilant.

this means so much to me. i can't even verbalize it. this is one of the things that i've desired the most. there were points in my life when we were moving around that i really resented God for tearing me away from my friends. i came to terms with it when i recognizing His sovereignty in everything, and now He's brought me back to my friends.

life is sweet.

an epic adventure

good fiction is very hard to find these days. there's almost a 99% guarantee that any of the books you pick up is smutty. it's almost sad when you do finish a good book because that means you'll have to trudge through ten more crappy ones to read another good one.

i just finished zorro, the newest book by isabel allende the author of daughter of fortune. what a swashbuckling adventure it was. it draws you right into the world of the 1800's, and sweeps you away.

i highly recommend it.

brain farts

you know the definition of the word you want. you can feel the meaning of it. you can describe it. it's on the tip of your tongue. it starts with..., it means this..., and then bleggghhh. your mind blanks. all you can think of is that four letter word that you've used 10 ten times in the last paragraph, that makes you sound oh so juvenile, uneducated, and redundant. the essay is left unfinished, scattered on your bedroom floor, while you pound out your frustrations on your laptop huddled in a corner of your room.

ok so the part of that last line was an exaggeration. for the most part i've remained relatively calm and collected while writing this critique that's due in 12 hours? five minutes have just lapsed between that last sentence and this one. my brain is farting again even while writing something as trivial as a blog. maybe blogs aren't so trivial. any hope that said brain will recover long enough for me to write something coherent to finish off the other half of that essay is in tatters. ok exaggerating again, but that line does sound good.

alright, truth be told, i'm trying to figure out if i have any talent in writing. it's another whim of mine. that and the fact that i realize that my brain farts are not caused by fatigue, but by a lack of vocabulary. i miss the days where i was forced to memorize vocabulary weekly. the nerd in me comes out. so i hereby announce to the world that i am going to start reading the dictionary.

cop out

i admit, i copped out. i googled free blogger templates. the impending winter was getting too gloomy for me so i thought i'd liven my blog a bit. i really do like the colours. my only annoyance is that the flowers which accompanied this template don't appear here! ay..woe is me. as for the links...i didn't have time to update them. sorry to all who use my page as a blog roll.

the "p" word

pride.

"Let us, at the very commencement of our meditations, admit that there is nothing so natural to man, nothing so insidious and hidden from our sight, nothing so difficult and dangerous, as pride."
~Andrew Murray

of late i've noticed a bit of condescension in my tone, an attitude of superiority, and an air of "sigh. why don't you get it?" usually paired with impatience... caused by short term memory loss.

i forget that different people take different times and different things to catch the vision.
i forget that some things are just new to people even though it might be "old news" to me.
i forget that people do things differently and have different perspectives.
i forget that i once was also inexperienced, and still am in many ways.
i forget that God and others have treated me with grace and patience, and i should treat others with no less.
i forget that i am far, far from perfection.

"He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks then thousands of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it."
~ C.H. Spurgeon

a processing post

the weekly blog post. i can't believe it's come to this. i'm on the brink of becoming an unfaithful blogger. one quote that lurks in the dark recesses of my mind goes something like "when you're too busy for the important things in life...then you're getting too busy." i think i have been getting too busy. so much that i haven't really had time this past month or so to sit down and do things that would rejuvenate me or that i enjoy. like blogging for example. my life's gotten to the point where i feel like i'm just swept along to one thing after another after another...so much that i feel like my life's not my own anymore. i'm just being carried along the waves of time. 'tis time for some restructuring.

mainly i think the culprit is that i haven't had enough "alone" time. alone time with God and alone time in general. i haven't been diligent in guarding down times. i keep on trying to squeeze in appointments here or there. better boundaries need to be set.

i am definitely an introvert by nurture if not by nature. i don't have a large need for people. it's more refreshing for me to sit here all alone in a big house filled only with the hum of my laptop than to be in a throng of people.

i think i'm going to have more coffee dates. definitely some way cool cafes in downtown guelph. i've only discovered it this year. for that i am sad, but at least i discovered it before graduation.

express post

this morning i expressposted my staff application to HQ in vancouver, and becky mitts documented it with my digicam. it's SO much fun living with b. mitts. we are truly the dynamic "azn" duo. :D ha!

here are the pictures.















the final copy. i finally finished it after working on the major bio questions for a week.















getting the expresspost envelope.















the cat's in the bag.

now we wait....and by we i mean "i", but it sounds so much better pluralized.

Master, mission, mate

oh men, the constant white noise in every woman's life. (paraphrased from Post Cards from Corinth, the chapter entitled "Daughters of Eve".)

i recently read this from Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, and it resonated deeply within me.

Jesus, if this is Your will
then YES to being single,
In my deepest heart, i want to marry,
to belong to a great man;
to know that i am linked to his life...
and he to mine...
following Christ and our dreams together...
but You know what i need.
if i never marry, it is YES to You.

~Ann Kiemel Anderson

there have been times where i have despaired, cried, wanted to slow down, or maybe...even stop, and no doubt i will experience similar things in the future, but God is good. the only way i can put mate in front of mission is to change the whole order and put it in front of Master, but i am sorely deceiving myself if i think that would the best scheme of things.

stellar weekend

this weekend has just been one highlight after another after another after another after another...ok you get the point. such a solid weekend. loved it!

highlight #1
it started off with darren's talk at the guelph weekly meeting on friday night. it just blew the crowd away. it was so powerful, inspiring, and challenging. you could FEEL the presence of the Holy Spirit. i cried because it was so moving and never has the vision to go to the world been so clearly casted at guelph. my only prayer is that people will do something with the conviction from that night.

if that was the only thing that had happened this weekend it would have been more than enough, but there's more!

highlight #2
after the weekly meeting ash and i went to pick up ryan at the train station. his train was delayed by about 40 min, but it was providential cuz we had a super conversation about the goodness of God that totally FILLED my heart to the brim and overflowed. plus it was a bonus to see them greet. ;)

highlight #3 guelph's hoe-down
enough said. country music and dancing? that's just icing on top of the cake. mad props to silas and alex wong (no relation) for mad improvements in their dancing skills. alex brought some swing dance moves in and it worked oh so well! and double mad props for taking the initiative and not being wallflowers.

highlight #4 the djembe
saturday morning i got up early and got my own djembe. so i finally "stopped my whining", "had a lovely day", and definitely "loved it".

highlight #5 chopping my chopsticks at king's buffet
lauren called becky and me up spontaneously and invited us out to dinner for some [fake] chinese food with trev, jamie, and suz. kirsten called us when we were on our way and we invited her along too. it was such a GOOD night. all through dinner i kept thinking how blessed i was to have such awesome friends. to top the night off we karate chopped a few pairs of chopsticks which led to the birth of the facebook group "i chopped my chopsticks at china king's buffet". btw kids, all guelph staff and students get 10% off at king's. (just trying to help becky keep her promise to the manager is all. :P) thanks andres for treating us!

highlight #6 showing up early for church
i woke up late this morning and thought i was half an hour late for church. bu hao i know, but i totally forgot about the time change and ended up being half an hour EARLY. yay for grace!

highlight#7 teens choir leading the service
it was so encouraging to be led in worship by the youth of the church. i know i'm not that old, but they were younger. that they are seeking and loving the Lord at such a young age is sooo refreshing. there's just something about mandarin too. definitely renewed vision and spurred me on.

highlight #8 the chinese community and lunch at church
love my aunties and uncles who are so welcoming even though i don't know them that well. love being in the chinese culture. i was glad that it didn't feel foreign or scary. got to pull out my hometown dialect and that felt SO good. i could go a mile a minute in my hometown dialect, but speaking in mandarin is like having a mouthful of marbles. it's definitely loosening up though as i'm getting more comfortable conversing in mando.

highlight#9 sunday afternoon nap
self-explanatory

highlight #10 marie antoinette movie date with the girls
after two hours of productive emailing i went to the movies with the girls to watch sofia coppola's marie antoinette. LOVED it. it was so lavish. :) also brownie points for NOT showing the gruesomeness of the french revolution and the beheading.

staff interview

well i finally had it!!! after one year of waiting i've finally had my staff interview.

it was a bit of a surprise actually. i got the email this past wednesday afternoon from laurie asking if i was available for an interview thursday morning at 8:30am. i was interviewed by her and jeff groenewald. we went to angels' diner, and i had some toast. it wasn't nerve-wracking at all, and it was quite enjoyable. i felt like i was just chatting with new friends. overall i think it went well although i did blank on some questions because i couldn't figure out how to be short-winded. that and the fact that it was early morning.

so i'm aimming to get the application done by tomorrow. then i'll express post it in along with the 3 remaining reference forms. if that happens, i should know if i've been accepted onto staff by December at the latest.

oh yeah i also had a killer schedule on thursday, but fortunately things were moved around. i still revel in the craziness of it all. for posterity: the schedule of thursday october. 26, 2006

6:30- wake-up
7:30-8:20- morning prayer [skipped]
8:30-9:50- staff interview
10:00-11:00- one on one discipleship time with christine [moved]
11:30-1:00- public economics midterm
1:00-???- MRI [definitely moved]
and
1:00- 2:00- one on one with kirsten
2:00-3:00- one on one with ashley [moved]
4:00-5:20- labour economics midterm
7:15-9:00- vaness's and my DG

fairy tales are deceiving

that was the line that was on one of the avatars that i use on msn. i'm not trying to bash fairy tales here, but whoa just going back to look at some of the fairy tales with the eyes of a 21 year-old is way different than a kid.

first of all i looked to see when "The Twelve Dancing Princesses" was written, and it was written in the 80's!!! i was really disappointed. aren't all fairy tales suppose to be written a long long time ago. it just doesn't seem right that a fairy tale could be written so "recently". that's my first beef. my second beef is the way fairy tales promote "love" and "beauty", etc.... it's all so...wrong. it makes me wonder if i would actually read my daughter(s) fairy tales, if i have any. those tales could create some serious problems.

now onto the little mermaid. i was watching it last night, and seriously there were some scenes that were scandalous even if it was just a cartoon. yikesers. AND to top that off....prince eric is really AWKWARD. i physically cringed at some of the stuff he said.

oh, how very ro---tic [romantic w/o the man]

yesterday was the hump day of midterms. it's the day when the fever breaks and you start to get better. it's the day when you can breathe a sigh of relief because the worst is over.

i had two midterms yesterday back to back with a one hour break in between. it went really well considering i didn't go to class for international trade in a month, and i haven't read any of the readings for labour economics. it was stressful, and i felt like i was all wound up like a spring. but the stress actually helped since i actually work better under stress. it gets me going. it took so much out of me though. i'm still so dead tired from it. i felt sucked dry. studying and learning really takes a lot of energy. go figure.

but anyways that wasn't the ro---tic part of the day at all. after the labour economics midterm chandley ashley and i went downtown for a mid-semester celebration. the scary thing is it is actually mid-semester. week 6 has just passed. everything blew by at warp speed. digressing yet again... we parked and just walked around downtown. it had such a romantic, fall feel to it. the shops were so quaint, cozy, and closed. everything closed so early yesterday. but there was a used book shop that we went to, and that's where the night took off.

i found a fairy tale book called "The Twelve Dancing Princesses", which i loved as a kid. i always used to check it out of the library. the copy i found yesterday was in pristine condition, and it was only $5! what a steal. so i bought it. ashley also found a story book from her childhood too. then we proceeded to scour downtown for a cool eating place, and we ended up at bollywood bistro for delicious, authentic indian food. the atmosphere there was really....cool. i kept telling her to bring ryan her boyfriend there when he comes to visit. we both had madrasa chicken with naan bread, and it was sooo delicious. a word to the wise though. don't bite on the "bean" that's in the sauce. i did that and it turned out to be a red hot chili pepper. it made me act like a fish that was dying out of water.

then afterwards we proceeded to go to Vanessa's birthday par-tay where we whooped the other team's butt in this movie trivia game thing. we hung out, chilled, had some great food, and neat drinks.

to top the night off on the way home from vanessa's we dropped by blockbuster on a whim to buy the little mermaid on DVD. at first we didn't see it on the shelves, and we thought that maybe it hadn't come out yet or that it was sold out. but then we saw it...two copies at the very bottom of the top-seller shelf encased in a protective box just for us. so we bought it for each other! hehehe :) what a sweet night.

"Brother You're Like a Six"

Are you a single Christian man who desires to be married? Let me help. I have an idea for a personal ad:
"Single Christian male (SCM) seeks single Christian female (SCF) to love as Christ loved the church, to give himself up for her to make her holy, to love as he loves himself (Eph. 5). SCF must be absolute physical knockout (no one scoring below 9.0, please), must love to talk politics and sports, and must possess a laundry list of pre-decided personal characteristics so completely that SCM is convinced no better option could possibly be available within the next decade."

Oh, you're a single Christian woman? No problem:
"SCF seeks SCM to submit to in everything as to the Lord, to respect, to serve, to follow and to be led by in discipleship and ministry, to trust as spiritual leader of the home, and to serve Christ with for the next several decades or until Jesus comes back. SCM must possess total confidence (but can't be cocky and must trust SCF's opinion in all things); must be devastatingly handsome but have no idea that he is; must be exquisite interpersonal communicator who enjoys nothing more than long, conversations about the relationship; must understand SCF completely; and must otherwise fit description of how SCF thought 'The One' would be since SCF started thinking about it at age 11."

this excerpt was from a boundless.org article by scott croft entitled "Brother You're Like a Six".
i burst out laughing when i got to "must be devastatinglyhandsome but have no idea that he is". it hit the nail right on the head. ha! actually all of it did. it's interesting to see all the standards that we have of our future spouses verbalized...
which is what this article addresses. standards for marriage. the realistic ones and unrealistic ones. along with the Biblical and the unbiblical. solid teaching. provides a lot of food for thought. i'm still mulling on it. solid read. go read it.

blogging paranoia

recently i haven't been the avid blogger as i have been in the past. there's a few factors that have contributed to this.

1. the general busyness of life
2. better time management skills??? less procrastinating in the blogosphere
3. blogging paranoia

i would say the third one is the main culprit. recently i've read quite a few disturbing articles about people who've lost their jobs because of their blogging. but really have i written anything that would warrant me losing a job? i don't think i've been heretical or blasphemous....the general gist is that i've been concerned with writing stuff that could come back to haunt me in a few years.

for example what if some dictator takes over the world, and considers my blog to be anti-him or anti- her and then throws me into jail just because i worded a few sentences wrong? extreme, yes i know. but on the other hand if you look at the reign of some authoritarian governments, which shall not be named, anything and everything could and was used to incriminate.

i digress. i've actually considered deleting this blog, and starting another one with a really inconspicuous web address. i never thought i'd say this, but i definitely cannot blog as i use to. there's tons of mental censorship going on. maybe it's for the better...you know showing prudence, wisdom, establishing good boundaries and such...

edit*
or maybe my blogging pattern has just changed. instead of blogging every so often. i do massive multi-entry updates like what i just did. these things have been brewing in my head...i just didn't get around to writing them.

the bling has blung

welcome to bling bling. a.k.a. the OEX household. ni hao. gototheworld.com

so sayeth the sign greeting all of our guests yesterday at the very first party of the year at the Bling Bling; my birthday party.

there were people from toronto, waterloo, london, and calgary. it was like a mini-project reunion for all 3 summer projects. it was really good to see people that i haven't seen in ages, reminisce, reconnect, and get made fun of....

we got people to introduce themselves and say where they knew me from. then becky got peeps to share their favorite memory of me and or something they like about me. it was really encouraging and touching. a testament to Jesus' work in my life especially margie's memory of me from first year. i was scared to bits of going sharing, and freaked out to even give out flyers for Passion of the Christ. sometimes i still feel like that. as i sat there and listened i hoped that what everyone heard was not the ability and the passion of shelly chen to do things for Jesus, but how He has used me for His purposes. that they would see it was not me, that it was the Lord, the same Lord in their lives who can use them.

it was also enlightening as i found out how people viewed me and i even found out some stuff that i didn't know about...like how ben knows me because i dated his best friend. [sic] there were definitely some funny awkward moments. i don't think i'll ever forget heather macgregs blowing my cover. hahaha on one hand i was cringing. on the other hand i wanted to laugh.

God has brought so many solid friends into my life. quality and quantity. more than i could have asked for.

highlights
* blowing out all 21 candles. yay! but alas no boyfriends. ;)
* getting the ESV Bible that i've been coveting for a year after i saw lydia's

vanessa: "are you going to open your presents?"
me: "sure if you want me to."
shakes vanessa's gift
me: "is it chocolate?"
vanessa: "no"
i stand there as my eyes slowly widen as understanding dawns.......then..
a typical excited shelly scream

* getting the mini scrapbook that i've been coveting since becky and i first went to paper moon, this scrapbooking store.
* seeing so many projectiles
* the birthday cake made with loooooove

thanks becky mitts for all this. you're an awesome housemate and friend.

doth mine eyes deceive me?

it SNOWED. just an hour ago. now the sun is all bright and shining.

that's just...DONC. i really dislike using that word, but no other word seems to fit. it SNOWED! on october the 12th! my last year of university and it snows in october?!

i don't seem to mind the cold weather as much i use to though. winter seems to have grown on me. i don't dread it as much. in fact i look forward to busting out the christmas carols in about a month.

"oh the weather outside is frightful..."

looking back and looking forward

looking back
milestones in my 21st year of life...

~attending a Christian concert (Passion: Toronto)
~going to Panama
~going to Calgary, AB
~directing a project!!!
~seeing the Rockies
~attending a bachelorette party
~going to a friend's wedding (two of 'em)
~leading a DG
~attending a drum circle
~taking grad pictures
~jumping into a freezing lake

looking forward
God-willing...
~ meeting Roger Hershey?!?!?!
~ joining staff and headin' overseas
~ support-raising a salary
~ graduating from university!

....and i can't forsee anything beyond that....

satisfied? satisfied!

correction: my 21st birthday wasn't the best birthday in a long time. it was the best birthday ever because it was a testament of God's love and grace in my life... not because i had a huge expensive party at panorama. the years just keep getting better and better.

for once i was content with and thankful for everything and everyone that God has brought into my life instead of being fixated on what i wanted, but did not have, what i should do to get what i did not have, and who forgot my birthday.

i know this is from God because six months back i had blogged about not being able to dredge up contentment. i've tried to muster up contentment before, and it has never worked. it was like pulling teeth. so truly this is the work of God in my life. then the fact that i am able to give credit where it is due is another example of God working in my life because just this thursday i was telling kirsten that i have a hard time giving God the credit for things because of my massive pride.

so thank You, Lord for Your faithfulness.
and thank you to everyone who remembered my birthday. it was sweet and heart-warming to get the calls, the emails, the e-cards, and the facebook notes. AND it's ok if you didn't. :) i'm not guilt-tripping you, and i'm not the center of the universe....not even on october the 7th.

21

two one.
whoa.

best birthday in a long time though. :) thank you God.

milestone: grad pictures

you see them walking along winegard with their black robes flowing around them. they're laughing and talking to each other. friendships forged through the years. this is it. this is their last year. they're done and they've paid their dues.

ever since first year i've watched the grads go off for their grad pictures wondering what kind of stories they have to tell; wondering what kind of stories i would have to tell; and wondering if i'd have friends to take pictures with.

monday afternoon i rushed to the photographer's in the UC under the grey stairs. at first my heart skipped a beat because it seemed like no one out of my 10 friends had shown up. had they forgotten?! then i saw gowns and hair and was relieved.

monday afternoon heather, rachel, sarah, ashley, katie, jacquie, becky, christine, lauren, trevor the husband, and i were the grads walking along winegard for our grad pics. we were laughing and talking. it was a beautiful day. the sun was shining, and it was warm. we took the worst group picture ever, but it was ok.

never in my dreams could i have asked God for better friends as these in my first year. we have a bond not many grads have. we have a bond forged by Jesus Christ. i was so thankful and privileged to be amongst that small crowd monday afternoon. words couldn't express my gratitude. thank You Lord.

it's the most wonderful time of the year: summit

summit is my favourite time of the year. i kid you not. there's just something about autumn beauty, great speakers, good fellowship, cheering, faith barriers, and ice cold cabins.

i've been looking forward to summit ever since project because there were a few people that were telling me that they'd "bring it", and i've been eagerly waiting to show them guelph's spirit. we didn't disappoint. i was so proud of guelph friday night when we had our cheer-down with mac.

if you like guelph...
if you like guelph,
clap your hands and SOCK it to mcmaster
stomp your feet and SOCK it to mcmaster
turn around and SOCK it to mcmaster
wind your toy and SOCK it to mcmaster

of course it was great to see the projectiles as well. ;P

but more importantly Summit's a milestone marker of God's faithfulness in my life.
two years ago i went only to see my friends from OEX. i had no idea what summit was about.
a year ago one of my girls was on the bus with me, but i barely remembered her name and her face. duhn still teases me about it to this day.
this year three of my girls were on the bus with me, leading the cheers with me, all of us decked out in red and yellow, with sparkling sequined togas. it was bittersweet to know that i'll be leaving them and the movement at guelph in a few months, but i was also proud and confident that there will be solid leaders left behind. praise God for what He's doing.

the talks given by alex philip were excellent. i loved how he just unpacked those verses like a suitcase especially for the third talk. when he first read ezekiel 1:1-3, i had expected him to continue reading because i couldn't see anything of significance in those three verses. for a full summary go to kirsten's blog. i wish i could listen to them again so i could mull on it.

it was the best summit i've had. everything just came together. i felt really blessed and privileged to be there this weekend. it was such a gift. i'm thankful for every little thing that was part of the weekend...even the ice cold cabins.

highlights
*the sock it to mcmaster cheer
*finding out that roger hershey's the winter conference speaker
*seeing the projectiles again
*jumping into the lake @ night with emily and ashley and 12 other people
*the beauty of the trees
*the praise and worship

away to awenda

this past weekend, 9 of us 4th year girls went up to Awenda for a weekend camping trip. it was so much fun. you just can't beat girl friends. period.

my favourite moments were...

1) getting lost on friday night when the estimated travel time of 2.5 hours turned into 4. it's just so funny in restropect. plus it was good bonding times at the time. then there were becky's awesome camping soundtracks. the intersection of lafontaine and "concession 16" will forever be rememebered.

2) going to the beach on saturday, and going "swimming". it was more like wading, but what the hey; my first and last swim of the summer. the water was so clear and beautiful. just couldn't help praising the Lord for His creation.

3) snuggled up all cozy and comfortable under my down duvet while it's storming outside. the wind howled, and the tent was pelted by rain and acorns, but we were so warm.

4) just being with all of the girls overall. what a treat! and what a blessing!

praiseworthy and blogworthy

it took me way too long to blog about this.

last tuesday middleton and i went sharing, and we saw someone come to Christ. the best part of this story is that for the 45 minutes beforehand i had gone sharing with ashley d., and i was just an incoherent, babbling, ...something. then with 15 minutes left until class andrew and i figured what the heck, let's keep going, and we saw eun come to Christ.

it's awesome how God uses us. not what we do for Him, but what He does through us.

the next morning i got to follow-up with eun, and she came to morning prayer at her own request in the same week. we're still meeting up for follow-up, and she's coming to Summit. it's all too exciting.

the rebelution

check out this site: the rebelution

it's a blog written by 17 year old twins alex and brett harris challenging young people everywhere to live by high Biblical standards instead of our cultural sub-par ones. it's extremely well-written, Biblical, and encouraging. they really exemplify the verse 1st timothy 4:12.

refreshment

ontario isn't alberta, and rockwood isn't the rockies, but it's still beautiful nonetheless.

after two weeks of craziness i was finally able to get away for some much needed alone time to rejuvenate. i spent about 3 hours at the rockwood conservation area which is 20 minutes outside of guelph. i "hiked" (after scaling beehive mountain, this was not a hike.) up to this escarpment which overlooked the lake. this is the view from it. i want to go back when the leaves turn colours. although most of the trees there were non-leafy ones. i don't know the technical term. so it might not be that spectacular.

no incidents today. no major incident. a lady asked if it was safe for me to be by myself. oh the things i can't do alone just because i'm a female....like go live in the rockies for a week. so after that comment i started to get paranoid especially since i deviated from the main trail to follow a smaller unofficial trail. worst case scenarios came to mind. i.e. meeting a vicious snake. and i did meet one...except it was 1 cm wide and about 1 foot long sprawled across a log. i get the heebie-jeeebies just thinking about it now. i bolted it out of there after that.

then i drank two gulps of water from the tap near the campsites. it was very piney tasting. blegh. made me long for the fresh spring water from the mountains.

milestone: going grey

when do you think you'll get your first strand of "grey" hair? 30? 35? 40? 50?

i was thinking of maybe late 30's for myself. i've been faked out a few times where i thought a strand of hair was white because of the way it was reflecting the light or because it was so bleached. but tonight it was a different story. as i looked in the mirror...there it was. one solitary strand of white lying amidst a mass of black. there was no way to mistake it. twasn't the way the light was reflected. twasn't because of bleach. it was just nature taking its course at 20....well almost 21, but i won't go there. it looks exactly and feels like fishing string. i could use it to go fishing.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
proverbs 31:30

i always added a lil twist to it that i heard in second year "beauty is fleeting, but it's good to have while i've still got it." i thought i would have it for at least 15-20 years, but it seems like i could be wrong. ah well a piece of humble pie never hurt anyone. always been too vain and proud about my looks anyways. it's a good reminder to really really start being serious about character development. that and hope this white strand is just an anomaly.

fishing anyone?

new year's resolutions

september always seems more a new beginning than january. here's to turning over another leaf.

1. i will try not to skip class.
2. i will eat healthy balanced meals.
~ i will avoid fast food as my main diet. limit: max one time a week.
~ i will not skip breakfast.
3. i will be in bed by 11:30pm every school night.
4. i will be up and running by 9:00am the latest.
5. i will exercise...somehow.
6. i will make time for devotions at the beginning of every day before doing anything else.
7. i will diligently make time to keep in touch with friends and family.
8. i will be disciplined in my school work.
9. i will stay on budget.
10. i will be gracious when i am tired, cranky, and in desperate need of a nap and alone time.

milestone: last first day of class

today september 11th, 2006 was officially my last first day of class. (the winter semester one doesn't count.)

in celebration of this momentous, never to be repeated occasion, becky, katie, ashley, napier, turnbull, and i went to the metro toronto zoo.

'twas a beautiful day to be walking about, enjoying the sunshine, enjoying the company of good friends, and being amazed at God's wonderful creation. i can't wait for heaven when there will be no bars between me and the cute baby giraffes and the fluffy white polar bears. (sidenote: polar bears have THE cutest bums on this planet.)

the moment of the day was when becky accidentally dropped her nalgene into the kangaroo pen, and ashley came to the rescue by jumping in. huzzah!

but i actually did go to a class today at night. History of the Islamic World. i couldn't hear the prof properly, and when i did i didn't quite understand her pronounciation. i kept hoping that the textbook will come through and clarify things. nevertheless this will prove to be a valuable class.

milestone: of paddles and tennis rackets

friday night becky and i got home around 2am after our last, first september weekly meeting after chilling at east side's and kirsten's. becky went straight to bed while i dilly-dallied. around 3 am in the morning as i drifted off to sleep i heard footsteps coming up the stairs along with sounds of muffled voices. at first i thought it was becky, but then i realized that one; the voices were too low and two; there were voiceS not a voice. there were guys in our house....outside of our bedrooms.

but i was prepared. i was ready for such an incident as this. i went to my closet grabbed my dbr paddle, woke up becky, and gave her my tennis racket. and that's as far as we got...i pictured myself bashing the intruders over the head with my paddle, but we were both too scared to go downstairs. so after deliberating for a bit, we called the po-po's on my cell phone which had a weird siren thing go off, which is why this is a "milestone" post. it was the first time for both of us to call 911. the lady on the other end was somewhat rude and condescending and so were the police who finally came after 40 minutes. if we were really being attacked, we would've been dead by then....

but i suppose this makes for a funny story.

the moral of the story? always remember to lock your front doors.

edit------------------------------------------------------------------
sorry to have left you all hanging. somehow i assumed in my mind that you all knew what had happened. it turns out that they left. we're assuming that they were drunken boys who went into the wrong house after a kegger or something. we were not robbed.

an ode to becky

ten top reasons why becky is a "hen hao" housemate and a rockeriffic "pengyou"

1. becky is a greaat listener.
she listens to you, empathizes, and asks good questions.
2. becky has a great and diversed taste in music from hip-hop to country to pop to indie to....
she's also a broadway star.
3. becky is very considerate of other people.
4. becky's "hen hao"'s and other oex tidbits...
5. becky's very generous with her time, energy, material things, etc...
6. becky's a good cook and a fabulous hostess.
7. becky keeps stuff tidy.
8. becky loves Jesus.
9. becky is weekly meeting coordinator. therefore you get to preview all the vids before their official debut. w000t~
10. becky is fun period.

900+

grab highlighter.
grab red pen.
grab real life kit.
throw into mesh bag.
repeat until the materials are gone.

it was gone in a record 1.5 hours. guelph had borrowed 600 real life kits from waterloo, and it flew out of our hands in 90 minutes. graham and trevor had to go to fort superior to get 300 or so real life kits that were left over from last year. those were gone too before we had to close up shop at 4:00pm. we never left before our alloted time was up. well....at least not in the years i've been here. we also ran out of ice and syrup for the free snow cones that we were giving away. and to think i was somewhat discouraged that our booth time was cut significantly this year.

as for SIQs we have stashes of them. and by stashes i mean STASHES. follow-up is going to be quite the task.

i also ran into a friend from high school that i haven't seen in three years.

praise God. praise God. praise God.

a stroll down memory lane

tonight becky, kirsten, and i took a stroll down memory lane down to briarlea and cole road to the establishment formerly known as "awesome house". twas nostalgic as we walked there as we would most likely never make it again. we went to bring back the BBQ that becky and i inherited from the newly married mr. andres. oh what a blogworthy trip it was.

first of all when we reached the said establishment the lights were on, which came as a surprise since we had heard that no one else dared to spend a year of his/her life there since the departure of former AH tenants. we knocked on the door to come face to face with the mysterious landlord, poochkie (sp?); who was actually quite friendly.

it took a bit of time to get the BBQ down from the patio and onto the driveway, but we managed to do it and in a few minutes we were happily rolling the BBQ on the newly paved road back to bling bling. however we didn't make it very far. we got to the intersection of ironwood and cole (about two minutes walk from AH)where three boys waiting for the bus to go to the bar, hollered after us, inquiring after the price of the BBQ. they thought we were going to throw it out. so they came after us and offered a sweet $20 for the BBQ. after much debate between the three of them, a few f-bombs, a phone call to housemates who lived down the road, the BBQ exchanged hands for a nice green bill. it took a while and i with a bit of OEX bargaining savvy at one point pretended to walk away impatiently, but in the end it was worth it. plus one of them called us beautiful. ;)

then came the dilemma of what to do with a crisp, cool $20 bill. what can one buy with $20? first we were going to be pragmatic and buy a shoe rack for mass of shoes cluttering bling bling's hallway, but then we decided to celebrate and went to DQ's. a shoe rack might still be purchased though...

a few years from now we shall reminisce about the night we sold AH's BBQ.

what a night.

ready, set, GO!

last night was the kick off, welcome back BBQ for the upper years at 403 scottsdale drive, now re-dubbed "le house". (will it stick? only time will tell.) becky and i arrived 30 minute lates because we underestimated the time that it would take to shuck 4 dozen corn on the cobs (approx 35 minutes if anyone's curious.)

around 30-35 upper years attended. most of whom were second and third years. it was weird being the oldest except for turnbull who was visiting...or maybe brandon and amber. this year's bbq wasn't as intense as last year's because there was less people to catch up with. no older upper years and there weren't that many fourth years either...sad. quite a few non-graduated people have dropped off too...

but the enthusiasm and the excitement for this coming year was really encouraging. so many new people have stepped up. it was cool to see the room slowly turning red as people were buying the new c4c t-shirts.

the pep rally was fun and sombering. this year a whole bunch of us went down and crashed the boogies. and we didn't just crash one; we crashed a few. i went for east, johnston, and lambton. it was so funny because the OV's really thought that we were first years and were trying to pump us up.

but it was sombering at the same time to see that whole sea of people using their God-given creativity, energy, health, etc... to coordinate these cool formations and dances, but refused to acknowledge Him and give Him the glory for it. that's the one image that's going to be burned into my memory to spur me on this year and for years to come...

servant team retreat

this past weekend the servant team comprising of andrew (prayer), ashley(ksl), becky(weekly meeting), rachel (women's min), sam (admin), silas (ksl/men's min), suz (evangelism), and me (send) went to guelph lake for our retreat. we booked the campsites for two nights, stayed there for one, and ended up relocating to bling bling (becky's and my house) for saturday night/sunday morning as the weather became too unbearable.

friday night we set up camp.
memorable moments:
~ watermelon seed spitting competition
~ foraging for firewood-> watching graham and jamie knock down dead trees
~ vanessa's awesome s'mores skills

saturday during the day we sat under a tarp telling each other our testimonies with a few breaks in between.
memorable moments:
~ ashley: "silas!" when a biker passed our campsite
one of the other girls: "ash, that's a 50-year old white man."
~ andrew's ice cream story
~ swapping project stories

saturday during the night we hit up bling bling for warm food and fun games.
memorable moments:
~ playing things in a box
what are you scared of: "eskimos"
what NOT to say to C4C staff: "i feel like God's calling me to father your children."; "hi my name is andrew. i like vanessa. who do you like?"
"acceptable" pick-up lines: "i'm pretty much God's will for your life. let's get married."; "hi my name is andrew. do you want to go for ice cream?
"what would you put on an apron: "if you can lean then you can clean."
what not to rename the weekly meeting: "jihad"; "the pick-up"

sunday we (minus sam) piled into my honda civic and headed to calvary for church where we took up an entire row.
memorable moments:
~ pastor robin: "aren't you glad you're not camping right now?"
~ becky cradling suz to and from church in the front seat of the car.

most popular phrase of the weekend: "christian conscience"
next bonding activity...winter camping.