Missing Out

Yesterday B.F. caught me off guard with the question,

"Has the start of the year been a good for you?"


The answer was unquestionably, yes. Or should've been.
I've never started a year off on staff in such a good head space.
Yet, I hemmed and hawwed for a few confused seconds before yammering out my answer, seemingly trying to convince myself in the process.

Mentally I went through a quick evaluation.
Personally, I was good, yes.
Ministry, was great, yes.
Familial relationships, fabulous, yes.
Community, fantastic, yes.
Loving Jesus, yes.

So what was the hesitation for?

Physically I was bombed, and the frenetic pace of the past three weeks drained all of my emotional reserves, and left me figuratively heading for the hills so I could hermit away in some cave.

Weekends zoomed by while I scrambled to try to fill that emotional gas tank before Monday arrived.

'Tis a conundrum as I absolutely need alone time to recharge, but the social butterfly in me now feels jipped by my prudent self when I turn down invitations or purposely not make plans.  It was one thing to turn down invitations when I was burnt out, and didn't want to go out.  It's another thing when I want to do everything, but can't, because unfortunately I am human and cannot be omnipresent.  Dang it!