seeing how it is valetine season and romance is supposedly in the air, there has been this online discussion (via blogs) about guy-girl relationships. it all started with beth's blog.
"Apparently it is neither uncommon nor abnormal for boys to like a girl, pursue her, get her (to one degree or another), and then, for no apparent or known reason, discover they don't want her quite as desperately as they did."
silas then wrote a response on his blog. www.singforever.ca.
to sum up this happens even to the best of guys who are honourable and who doesn't want to break a girl's heart. that was the part that freaked me out. "it happens to the best of them!" then there was much questioning on my part to try to figure out this "phenomenom". why? to prevent heartbreak by preventing "it" ever from happening. however it seemed like the guys didn't have any control over it either. it just happens. the only certainty was that it does happen and in a relationship it might or might not happen.
after pondering this, i think the heart of the matter (pun intended) is the protection of the heart. in wanting to know the answer/reason to this "phenomenom" is at least on my part a desire to prevent that heartbreak. as they say the best offensive is a good defensive right? but perhaps a better defense would be not to try to prevent the "thing" from happening, but to be prepared for break-up. i know it's really easy for girls to go overboard in thinking that things are signed, sealed, and delivered after the first date or whatever. but of course no one wants to think that relationship might possibly go sour. we all dream of the happy ending. that's legit. however i am reminded of what elisabeth elliot said in passion and purity (paraphrased) don't give your heart to a man until he's committed himself to you. so i think that means marriage. yet many a times i've poured my heart out for someone who hasn't even proved himself, deserving of it, or even wanting it. sad, but i learned. that's not to say though that we should be heartless, cold, clones, but i think the reason we girls get our hearts broken so easily is because often times we are careless with them ourselves. i know i have. i think we should take more responsibility for guarding our hearts. it's not fair to be careless with it ourselves and then blame the guy and label him as a jerk afterwards. it is after all...our hearts. easier said than done, i know. oh and this is on the assumption that the guy is honourable with no malicious intentions. that's my two cents from someone who's never been in a serious relationship. :P
happy valentine's day! :)
tomorrow's going to rock. i'm really excited. not because i have a "hot date", but because of the valentine's day outreach my dg is doing. so pumped.
I know who you've been talking to ;D
ReplyDeleteI like the second last paragraph you wrote. Why are we so afraid of a heartbreak or a breakup? In the same way, do we not make friends in case we get a fight and never speak to them?
We need to be secure in Christ so we can be okay with a breakup. I'm not saying date flipantly, I'm saying be secure in yourself so a guy won't a) sweep you off your feet over nothing and b) destroy your self-esteem if there's a breakup.
... and what about girls who are done with the guy as soon as she's been "chased and caught"?
But what do you know, I'm just a lost dude.
Jevy.org
oh jevy,
ReplyDeleteyou're quite the loyal blog reader. :)
yeah, I agree with you, Shells. I think that girls sometimes go into relationships with the expectation that this guy is "the one" when really, that may not be the case. I mean, that's the purpose of a Christian relationship, anyways, right? To see if this person is indeed the one that God calls you to marry. Girls and guys a like need to make sure that they don't expect more than what is warranted.
ReplyDelete