an appreciation for canadian soil {day 2}

yesterday was a hard day in terms of adjusting back to canada. i felt really homesick for panama. it felt like i was back in first year again when i first moved out of the nest. feels like someone's wrenching my heart. i don't think i felt this bad after OEX. maybe after the first one, but definitely not this bad after the second one. it's really weird because i was never in the "romance" stage when i was in panama. at least i don't think i ever was. i was actually looking back to coming back to canada.

don't get me wrong i enjoyed the ministry we were doing in panama, but i actually missed canadian ministry. (i know, i was surprised too.) i missed my girls! while it was nice to be able to talk to people easily in panama, i wanted meatier conversations too. something with more of a bite. this is going to sound so weird, because it sounded weird when it first formulated in my head too, but being in the openess of panama actually gave me a greater appreciation for the hard soil in canada. i thought i would come back all cynical and bitter about the intellectual arrogance of canadians, but i now really appreciate the opportunities it provides for God to train us and build our spiritual muscles. we learn to persevere, to be diligent, to fight against complacency, and above all to focus solely on Him when there's no visible fruit. then when we're sent out into the world, we're better equipped. i mean, can you imagine going to north africa when all you're use to is a really open country? of course God can use anything and everyone, but i definitely think He's using this hardness of Canada to raise up some solid labourers to be sent. leonora really opened my eyes to the great sending potential of canada. we have the wealth, we have the golden passport, and we have all these resources. we just need people.

that said...summer still cannot come soon enough. i'm freezing my butt off here. i think my cold tolerance level went down significantly.