Ever get so fed up with people that you just either:
a) Want to go live in a cave somewhere ALONE.
b) Nuke the entire world.
c) [b] first and then [a]
No? Just me? Ok...then this book's not for you.
[By the by, aren't you glad that I don't have access to weapons of mass destruction?]
Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Tim Lane and Paul Tripp is the best book I've read on relationships thus far. Not just romantic ones. They are talking about relationships in general; friendships, partnerships, familial ties, etc...
So from here on in when I say the word: relationship it's not just talking about romantic ones.
*Definition of relationship
What is a relationship? The intersection of the stories of two people. The problem is that an awful lot of carnage takes place at this intersection.
*Biblical basis for being a relational being and being in relationships.
Since relationships are about being other-centred, the self-centredness of sin will inevitably subvert God's design.
*Proper basis for one's identity in Christ within a relationship.
When love for God is replaced by love for self, people become either obstacles that hinder goals or vehicles that promote them.
*Good, practical, thorough, Biblical conflict resolution.
Conflict with others is one of God's mysterious, counterintuitive ways of rescuing us from ourselves...All kinds of suffering, including conflict with others, can be redemptive because of the grace of God. By redemptive, we mean that God can use conflict (as well as everything else in our lives) to defeat sin in us and make us more like Christ, with a love for him and others that reflects his nature.
*Forgiveness: What is it? How does it work?
When we choose to practice true forgiveness, the relationship is not just brought back to where it was before the offense; it actually moves further down the road to maturity.
When you forgive someone, you also cancel a debt. But, more specifically, you make a conscious choice to absorb the cost yourself. You choose not to make the offender pay for the offense.
My two favourite chapters were on conflict and forgiveness, but SO tough to read because I know I have to eventually put it into practice...I have to pause, ponder, and pray through every paragraph. Did you read the quotations regarding conflict and forgiveness? I almost wished I didn't read them.
Highly recommend the book! I think everyone should read it.
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