I've been flip flopping back and forth between selling Stella and then between selling her and just parking her. What finally decided it was realizing that if I were ever to go overseas I'd eventually have to sell her so I might as well sell her now.
It was a bit sobering to follow through on the going overseas train of thought. I've always said that I'd only move out of my apartment (barring any other unforeseen incidents) if I got married or if the Lord called me overseas.
Looking ahead, marriage isn't in the foreseeable future as much as I would like it to be. I joke with my mentors that it's very obvious that God wants me to be single. Some staff women marry the first single guy that joins their team. I've been on a team with four single guys for a year and a half now. Ratio-wise I am the envy of single staff women everywhere. I joke that single staff women staff across the country are probably thinking, "What the heck is Shelly doing in Toronto? Spraying man-repellant? In case you're wondering, I rotate between Ralph Lauren- Blue, Ralph Lauren- Ralph, Tommy Hilfiger- Tommy Girl, Estee Lauder- Beautiful Love, Victoria Secret- Love Spell, and Victoria Secret- Endless Love. Avoid at your own discretion.
But I digress.
Going overseas on the other hand definitely has potential in the near future. I mean it was my initial intention in joining staff even though I didn't end up going. Nevertheless it has always been on my mind, and a possibility, but the last three years it's been more on the backburner. Now that I'm halfway done my third year in Canadian ministry, I've been slowly evaluating where I am and where God wants me to go.
Do I stay in campus ministry? This one was easy. YES.
Do I stay here in Toronto or do I move? Stay, for now at least...
Recently a friend, asked me "What do you want to do with your life?"
It caught me off guard to have the question that's been bouncing between the walls of my head verbalized and spoken out loud.
I want to reach the unreached.
I want to leave a legacy.
I want to live radically.
But I don't know how that will pan out. Is it possible to know?
Then there's that insidious fear lurking in my heart. Fear of what it will cost me. Oh, me of little faith.
this was much less about stella than i thought. anyhow, good thoughts. i feel like i semi sit in the same boat.
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