White Noise Part 2: Who Do I Look To For My Affirmation as a Woman?

I'm going to be honest, on my default setting, it's not Jesus.

It's easy to see from my insecurities (see Part 1) and the circumstances from which they arise that I expect to be validated by a man not Christ through his love.
The thought process goes something like this:
If a guy thinks I'm awesome, this being reflected by him "choosing" me out of all the women out there, and loving me then I really must be awesome. If no one's asking me out then it follows that something's wrong with me even though the Lord accepts me as is.
(Appropriate) affirmation in the from of love a man while not inherently bad has become an idol in my heart because it trumps affirmation and love from the Lord.

Does the gospel apply to this?

How does the gospel apply to this area of my life?

It has taken awhile for head knowledge of the gospel to trickle down to my heart. It has been hard for me to allow myself to open up my heart to the Lord because of my family background. There's a part of me that thinks that His unconditional love and acceptance is that of a distant, aloof Father, but His love is more than that. He pursues. He woos. He loves like no other.

He chose me.

Out of a country of a billion people, few who have the opportunity to hear the gospel, He brought me to the West so that I could hear it, and respond to it.

Blessed be the Father and God of our Lord Jesus Christ who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us in him before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.
Ephesians 1:3-4

When I ran from Him even after I responded, He wooed.

And the Lord said to me, "Go again, love a woman who is loved by another man and is an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the children of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love cakes of raisins."
Hosea 3:1

How many times have I turned to other gods and loved other things? Countless. Yet He persists in loving me.

For I am made through Him and for Him.

Here is Love.