Five Good Things

1.  Banter
2.  Friends with a fabulous sense of humour
3.  Eggplant
4.  All You Can Eat Indian
5.  Great community at church

"The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing."
~Blaise Pascal

As my friends console, advise, and shake their wise heads, I can only say,

"If my heart listened to my head, I wouldn't be in this."

I wish my heart listened to, and followed wisdom too.  It's like trying to tame a wild horse.

Priorities

Most of the time there's a billion and one things that I want to do and or want to work on that are floating around in my head.
Most of the time I bite off more than I can chew.
Most of the time I get distracted very easily.

So my priorities for this semester are:

1.  Love the Lord with all my heart, soul, and mind.
2.  Be still and listen to God.
3.  Become more disciplined especially with my time and finances.
4.  Be sweet, not defensive.
5.  Be gentle, not harsh.
6.  Be all there.
7.  Do everything well to the best of my abilities.

I am eagerly anticipating this upcoming November.  

Not because I want this year to fly by, 

but because there is something that is a "go" 

and I'm really praying that it doesn't fall through.

I really really want it to go through.

Five Good Things

1.  Kayaking
2.  Tubing
3.  Wake-Boarding [Attempted]
4.  "Congrats on the Herpies" on a DQ ice cream cake.
Spelling mistake is theirs not mine.
5.  Banter

That Bend Around the Road

Actually, I see the bend around the road and what it holds for at least the next year.  (I think.)
I just have to  take a breathe and take the leap of faith.

Speaking of leaps, Hawaii's taught me about jumping off high places.
You build up the capacity to jump off higher and higher places.

I feel strong enough for this upcoming leap.

Option # 767

Option #767:

Move to Maui and become a tattoo artist.

My Life: the Chick Flick

From the producers of "He's Just Not That Into You" and the "Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" comes a heartwarming tale of love, friendship, and self-discovery as two friends escape to Hawaii to mend their broken hearts.  Through hilarious twists and turns, the girls discover that sometimes love is closer than you think.   

Starring: Aishwarya Rai, Maggie Cheung, and other hot young Hollywood men

A Poor Defense

As a child, I learned to protect myself with bitterness, anger, hate, vengeance, spite, and cynicism, first against my father, then against the malicious taunts of classmates, and finally against every possible hurt in the world, which meant I guarded myself from everyone.  God included.

I learned to be harsh, to be prickly, to be cold, to be distant so that no one could get close enough to hurt me, but inside it was an entirely different story.  

It took years for God to de-program me.  

Years to trust people, years to enter into real friendships,  and years to live in authentic community.  

He's still de-programming me.

It took years to really trust God.

That He was and is good to me.

Then it took a few more to trust that He really loved me.

I'm still figuring this one out.

Yet at the slightest hurt, the slightest injury, the slightest slight...

The walls of bitterness, anger, hate, vengeance, spite, and cynicism automatically spring up.  

Distance is instantly created in my heart.

Nothing like the love and forgiveness of Christ.

Even though I know the havoc that these walls wreak in my life, I still cling to them because I can't fathom another option.  

Then I get bitter about being bitter, and that my friends is what we call, counter-productive.

The solution to this?  

Besides begging Jesus for help?

I have no idea.

So I'm begging long and hard.

And Therefore Is Wing'd Cupid Painted Blind

I adore Shakespeare.  I love the poetry, the wit, and of course the physical humor.  Even though the plays were written hundreds of years ago, they still resonate with me.  The heroines are so real, and none so real than dear Helena.  This is one of my favourite soliloquy.

Helena's Soliloquy

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Act 1 Scene 1


How happy some o'er other some can be!
Through Athens I am thought as fair as she;
But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so;
He will not know what all but he do know;
And as he errs, doting on Hermia's eyes,
So I, admiring of his qualities.
Things base and vile, holding no quantity,
Love can transpose to form and dignity.
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind.
Nor hath Love's mind of any judgment taste;
Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste:
And therefore is Love said to be a child,
Because in choice he is so oft beguil'd.
As waggish boys in game themselves forswear,
So the boy Love is perjur'd every where;
For ere Demetrius look'd on Hermia's eyne,
He hail'd down oaths that he was only mine;
And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt,
So he dissolv'd, and showers of oaths did melt
I will go tell him of fair Hermia's flight:
Then to the wood will he to-morrow night
Pursue her; and for this intelligence
If I have thanks, it is a dear expense:
But herein mean I to enrich my pain,
To have his sight thither and back again.


Oh, Helena, I can't blame you.  I probably would've done the same thing.

In His Hands

Honestly, if it weren't for the unconditional love of Christ, 

I don't know how I would cope with the things that life throws at me .

Dearest Heart,

I am so worn out by, and tired of your shenanigans.
You are driving me up. the. wall.
Please, please at least attempt to be reasonable.

Frustratingly yours,
Shells

Delayed Gratification

Delayed gratification.
These two words do not exist in the vocabulary of my life.
As an only child, what I want, I get.
In the real world, this means:
grief.
Because the world does not revolve around, me.
And what I want, I do not always get.
 

Choices, Choices, Choices

Option #: 731
Move to Vancouver.

Reasons:
1) Mountains
2) Ocean
3) Better fobby Asian places than Toronto
4) The artsy fartsy- ness of it all
5) 3 Hours by plane closer to parentals
6) Friends

The scariness of uncertainty has worn off (somewhat), and thankfully, I'm getting excited about the adventure that this quarter-life/mid-life crisis will bring.  There's so much to explore and so much to learn about life, God, and myself.

There are so many choices, but having a lot of choices may not necessarily be better in a sense because it really complicates the decision.  And it seems like a new option pops up every week.

At this point, I wonder... if I can just do it all.

Five Good Things

1.  Getting caught in the rain with friends.
2.  Mountains and oceans together oh my!
3.  Finding a QWERTY keyboard on my phone.  (I am such a geek.)
4.  Dancing in the car.
5.  Window shopping.