"The List"

(Almost) every girl has their laundry list of what they want in a future boyfriend/husband. Some frivolous, some decent. Back in high school, I had the "six inches" rule. The guy had to be at six inches taller so that I can wear three inch heels and have three more inches to spare. So he had to be at least six feet. Because you know, how can he possibly be a good husband if I dwarf him when I wear my sizzling stilettos?

But I think this is a better list that was posted on Girl Talk.

They write:

One of our readers wrote Nicole to ask:

“I’d love to hear how your parents counseled you all through your various relationships and into engagement. Specifically, how did they guide you in guarding your hearts? What did they tell you to look for in a husband? And how—with three different men and three varying courtships did they counsel each of you differently about the actual process of those courtships?”

Over the next several days, each of the girls will recount her personal journey of falling in love with the man who is now her husband. In the process they hope to answer some of these questions. But first we thought it would be helpful to talk briefly about courtship; specifically, I want to answer the question of what we taught our daughters to look for in a husband and then elaborate on that a little bit.

To consider this topic, I want to draw from the chapter entitled “When It Comes To Courtship” from our book, Girl Talk. Now, by no means will this post contain a thorough study of God’s Word on the subject. I will merely attempt to offer a few points of biblical guidance that I hope will be helpful.

C.J. and I sought to provide our daughters with a “list” from Scripture of essential qualities that should characterize any man desirous of pursuing them. These qualities included:

“1. Genuine passion for God. The greatest commandment is to ‘love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind’ (Matt. 22:37). A mere profession of faith is insufficient. A godly man will consistently display love, obedience, and increasing passion for the Savior.

2. Authentic humility. ‘This is the one to whom I will look,’ says the Lord, ‘he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word’ (Isa. 66:2). Your daughter will marry a sinner—that is certain. But if he is a humble and teachable sinner who is quick to repent, then he will be sure to grow in godliness. This humility will also be evident in his love for and submission to God’s Word.

3. Love for the local church. At the center of God’s plan on earth is His church. A young man must be pursuing fellowship and serving faithfully in a local church if he is to make a good candidate for a husband.

4. Biblical convictions about manhood and womanhood. A successful marriage is due in large part to a couple’s grasp of their respective roles and responsibilities. A potential husband must be committed to complementary roles found in Scripture. He must be ready to embrace his responsibility to love and lead his wife. (Eph. 5:22-25).

In addition to comparing the young man to this list of essentials, we also helped our daughters evaluate God’s commands to wives. From Scripture we asked our daughters the following questions regarding the young man each was considering:

-Do you fully respect this man the way a wife is called to respect her husband?
-Can you eagerly submit to him as the church submits to Christ?
-Do you have faith to follow this man no matter where he may lead?
-Can you love this man with a tender, affectionate love?
(1 Cor. 11:3; Eph. 5:22, 33; Col. 3:8; Titus 2:4-5)

Again, this list of qualities and questions is not exhaustive. However, it provided clear, objective, and biblical criteria to assist our daughters in determining God’s will—whether or not they were meant to join their lives with a certain young man.

The conclusion to this chapter appropriately sets up the courtship stories to follow: “Each courtship, whether or not it ends in marriage, is its own unique journey. But God has provided all the wisdom that we need in His Word.”

Boymongoose

Five Good Things

1. Bumming around at home for a WHOLE day.
2. Finally finishing admin that's been left around for a looooong time.
3. Sunshine.
Not that we've been having a lot of it.
4. Lots and lots of Bible reading.
5. Bright light bulbs.

Change

I want a new hairstyle. This is the one that I want, but it's going be a long time coming. Another year at the very least? Do I have the patience?

Christmas Wish List

Addendum: I was and still am fully convicted of my rabid materialism before writing this down, but the things were floating in my head and I just wanted to put it down. I am reevaluating my wants.

Starbucks
1. Berryblossom White Tea
2. Any ceramic mug
3. The reuseable tumbler that looks like the tumbler they use for their iced drinks.
4. Gift Card
5. Matte Red Double-Walled Stainless Steel Travel Mug

Music
1. Glee Cast 1
2. Glee Cast 2
3. Any U2 CD that's not "No Line on the Horizon" and "How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb."
4. Marie Antoinette Soundtrack
5. Neyo- Closer


Movies
1. Hero
2. Elizabeth
3. Marie Antoinette
4. Into the Woods
5. Pride and Prejudice (Keira Knightley)

Books
1. A [GOOD] Winston Churchill Biography
2. How the Caged Virgin Sings by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
3. Payback: Debt and the Shadow Side of Wealth by Margaret Atwood
4. The White Man's Burden by William Easterly
5. An Imperfect Offering by James Orbinski
6. PostSecret by Frank Warren
7. Sartorialist by Scott Schumann
8. Canon Rebel XSi Companion Book
9. National Geographic: The Photographs By Leah Bendavid-Val
10. National Geographic Ultimate Field Guide to Photography: Revised and Expanded by National Geographic

Scents
1. Ralph Lauren- Blue
2. Ralph Lauren- Ralph
3. Tommy Hilfiger- Tommy Girl
4. Victoria's Secret- Love Spell
5. Gap- Dream

Make Up
1. Cargo- Sunset Beach Blush
2. M.A.C. Lipstick- Diva
3. O.P.I.- Gold Nail Polish

Educational
1. Rosetta Stone Software [French]
2. Rosetta Stone Software [Spanish]
3. Rosetta Stone Software [Japanese]
4. Rosetta Stone Software [Arabic]
5. Rosetta Stone Software [Hindi]

(Can you imagine if I became fluent in all these languages? I'd be able to go ANYWHERE in the world. ALMOST.)

Hi-Tech
1. Adobe CS4 Premium Design Suite
2. Light Room Software
3. Canon Wide Angle Lens
4. Apple Time Capsule
5. iMac

Pies in the Sky
1. Piano lessons to get me all the way up to grade 10 and beyond.
2. A grand piano
3. All expenses paid trip to Greece and Italy.
4. A loft downtown
5. A Flute
6. An authentic, thorough chinese/indian/thai cookbook in english.
7. Baby blue mini cooper
8. A new tattoo on my right foot.
9. All expenses paid trip to Gion, Japan and insider access.
10. Bono

Top Five Movies According to ME

I never really wanted to try to list my top five movies because I can't remember all the movies that I've seen, but I figure if it's going to be good enough to make it to my top five, it should at least stay in my memory. So here we go.

My criteria:

1) Watchability- Is this something that I would watch over and over again? Because there are great movies out there that I wouldn't. Like, Passion of the Christ and Schindler's List, just to give a few examples.

2) Visual Experience- As an artist myself, cinematography, videography, colours, settings, and costumes make a deep impression on me, and so influences my movie experience.

3) Plot- Is it entertaining? Does it have a point? Does it tell a story well?

In no particular order:

1. Hero
Great plot. Gorgeous visuals. Especially loved the way the story was told and how colour schemes were incorporated into that. Genius. It took my breathe away.

2. Ocean Eleven [Remake]
Love heist movies. There's just something about watching the plan come together and then executed. Throw in some quirky characters and humour, and we're set.

3. Italian Job [Remake]
Ditto the above. Plus there's the chase scenes with the minis.

4. Elizabeth
She was my favourite female historical figure growing up. I ate up biographies of her. Kapur and Blanchett did a fantastic job of bringing the intricate and complex personal and public life of Elizabeth I to the big screen. Oh, and the costumes? Ahhh...

5. Marie Antoinette
I know, there's people throwing rotten tomatoes at the screen right now for me even mentioning this. I just have to say that it gives a different perspective of the controversial and hated queen. I thought it was brilliant the way it showcased the coming of age of Marie in a pressured, volatile, sometimes hostile, and very privileged environment. It was well done. Oh and visually? A candy shop for the eyes.

Honourable Mentions
These were not listed above because of "watchability".

* Lord of the Rings by Peter Jackson [Too long]
* Life is Beautiful by Roberto Bellini [Too depressing]
* Water by Deepa Mehta [Too depressing]
* Moulin Rouge by Baz Luhrmann [Too sad]

I don't like movies with sad endings.

I'm Looking Forward To

1. Snuggling with my mummy and my aunties.
Sometimes I just want to be held, and feel protected. Gotta fill up on the physical love tank whilst I can. It only comes around two times a year.

2. Being daddy's little girl.
Who doesn't want to be treated like a princess and have (almost) every wish and whim fulfilled?

3. Sleeping in.
Way too many early mornings this semester. I lack sleep.

4. Running. Every. Day. In the sun.
And with that time to do more things than just running. Like crunches. Hello abs of steel. The only thing I'm worried about are those pesky snakes that wander around Arizona. They are to Tucson, as squirrels are to Toronto. BLEH.

5. Mama's cooking.
To die for. I want to say, THIS time I will learn. But let's be honest, it's been seven years since I moved out, and really, when has she let me in the kitchen besides to wash the dishes?

6. Girlie dates.
With my blonde blue eyed cousin S.S. and our 'lil bookworm J.H.
Starbucks and bookstores. Perfect combo.

7. Family dinners.
Ahhhh..... The joy of eating with family. What a rare treat.

8. Tex Mex food.
My mouth is watering right now.

9. Wasabi.
THE best Japanese restaurant on this continent. Well, out of the ones that I've been to anyways. This year I'm going to bring J.D., and take some pictures with the 50mm to show you guys how BEAUTIFUL the rolls are. Literally, a work of art.

Hmm...a lot of food entries. I like my food. I guess I'm a foodie.

10. Our mother-daughter photoshoot.
This is my brilliant Christmas present to my mom. We've never had a real photographer take our photo so I'm looking to book one for when I get back to Fresno. Very sentimental.

11. Playing Ticket to Ride with the family.
Hello competition and trash talk with the uncles.

12. Rocking out on Rock Band with my 'lil cousin D.H.

13. Girl Talk with D.H.
He's in like grade 4, and such a cutie. He tells me all his crushes. It's adorable.

14. Shopping.
It's the states, and I split two pairs of my favourite jeans. 'Tis time to shop.

15. Reading.
Have barely read this semester. Groan. I feel my mind growing stupider. I don't think I even finished a book. No. I did. WHEW. Had a moment of panic there.

16. Going to movies with the family.
And there are sooo many funny ones coming out.

17. Watching Casino Royale on the big flat screen. Did I mention BIG?
James and I have a standing date.

18. The pets!
Duchess my cuuuuuute cat. I'm looking forward to playing with her the most because she's clean and compact. My dogs smell and do not lend themselves to being carried easily anymore. Last time I tried to lift Sesame, I could barely get her paws off the ground.

19. The presents.
My mom brought me back a Chinese tea set from China. And there's something that I asked for, for Christmas, that I hope I get....

20. Extended time with the Lord.
There's a silver lining to not having any friends when I go back home.

Speaking of CHA-RAC-TER. One of my friends has one of the sweetest husbands. And that's only one of many posts about her husband. Here's to character, ladies. Cheers.

Because Girls are Superficial Too...

You know guys are given a hard time for being superficial when it comes to the opposite gender, but if we're really honest, girls are really superficial too.

The Scene: While watching New Moon:

"Ooooo...he's CUTE! And I think he's around my age? Uh? Shelly, he's 17. You're 24. That's SEVEN years older." CRAP.

The Scene: After the movie.

Friend: "I would totally throw myself off a motorcycle for a guy like that to take his shirt off for me."

Me: {insert train of thought from duration of movie.}

Friend: "Crap. I take back what I said about the motorcycle, but not really."

Later on...

Friend: "24 and looking at younger men..."

Me: "And so it starts."

(It = cougar tendencies.)

So this is all to say, Bollywood and New Moon are doing nothing for me and having realistic expectations.

Public Service Announcement:
Men in real life do not usually have eight packs. Nor are their chests usually meticulously hairless and oiled. You want character. CHA-RAC-TER. Repeat continuously.

Read My Mind

~ "Yay for globalization."

~"There are downsides to having Bollywood soundtracks on your iPod. Like having to constantly to fight the urge to burst into song and dance when in public."
I was shooting downtown in the middle of Front Street on a median with cars flying by on both sides. It was tempting to pretend that I was in the middle of a Bollywood flick. Luckily, I don't know Hindi because by now I might be committed to a mental institution."

~"Mother-in-laws are scary, scary people in general."

~"Bacon."

~"CRAP. I think I left the oven on with the baked potato in it. Is my apartment still standing? (Mental image of oven exploding into flames) .....Well S.A. looks like she got stuff from our place before church so I think we're good."
The apartment was still standing, but the potato was not edible.

~"I wish my heart would catch up to my mind already. I hate the 18 inches from head to heart. Why does it always have to play catch-up in everything?"

~"We are going to finish this movie just to see the love story."
Me, alone, sans brown roommate, 30 minutes into Jodha Akbar, a Bollywood movie that lasted for a loooooooooooong time with TERRIBLE subtitles that were misspelled, mistimed, grammatically incorrect, and for the most part completely nonsensical. I guess my stubbornness comes in handy for some things......

Stuck In My Head

This is what happens when you live with a brown person.
Girls' night = four hours straight of watching Bollywood movie clips. We just wanted the songs. Still have yet to finish one movie.

Anyhoot I wish I found one with English subs, it's actually quite a funny song.

I find that the state of my room often reflects the state of my inner life.

Good Bye Stella and Other Ponderings

I've been flip flopping back and forth between selling Stella and then between selling her and just parking her. What finally decided it was realizing that if I were ever to go overseas I'd eventually have to sell her so I might as well sell her now.

It was a bit sobering to follow through on the going overseas train of thought. I've always said that I'd only move out of my apartment (barring any other unforeseen incidents) if I got married or if the Lord called me overseas.

Looking ahead, marriage isn't in the foreseeable future as much as I would like it to be. I joke with my mentors that it's very obvious that God wants me to be single. Some staff women marry the first single guy that joins their team. I've been on a team with four single guys for a year and a half now. Ratio-wise I am the envy of single staff women everywhere. I joke that single staff women staff across the country are probably thinking, "What the heck is Shelly doing in Toronto? Spraying man-repellant? In case you're wondering, I rotate between Ralph Lauren- Blue, Ralph Lauren- Ralph, Tommy Hilfiger- Tommy Girl, Estee Lauder- Beautiful Love, Victoria Secret- Love Spell, and Victoria Secret- Endless Love. Avoid at your own discretion.

But I digress.

Going overseas on the other hand definitely has potential in the near future. I mean it was my initial intention in joining staff even though I didn't end up going. Nevertheless it has always been on my mind, and a possibility, but the last three years it's been more on the backburner. Now that I'm halfway done my third year in Canadian ministry, I've been slowly evaluating where I am and where God wants me to go.

Do I stay in campus ministry? This one was easy. YES.
Do I stay here in Toronto or do I move? Stay, for now at least...

Recently a friend, asked me "What do you want to do with your life?"

It caught me off guard to have the question that's been bouncing between the walls of my head verbalized and spoken out loud.

I want to reach the unreached.
I want to leave a legacy.
I want to live radically.

But I don't know how that will pan out. Is it possible to know?

Then there's that insidious fear lurking in my heart. Fear of what it will cost me. Oh, me of little faith.

Prautes

During my Day Alone With God yesterday I looked up the word "gentle"(a la Matthew 11:29, Galatians 5:23) in Greek because that is an area I am sorely lacking in.

It turns out PRAUTES means:

Meekness, expressed not in a man's outward behaviour only nor in his relations to his fellow man or his mere natural disposition, but expressed rather as an inwrought grace of the soul, first and chiefly directed towards God.

I was really surprised by the fact that's it's not our mere natural disposition which was what I was inclined to think.

It goes on to say...

That attitude of spirit in which we accept God's dealings with us as good and do not dispute or resist.

Wow. Now there's a tall order. I can't think of one instance where I've completely accepted the Lord's dealings with me without ANY dispute or resistance. There's always some whining on my part.

After some reference to Greek philosophers it finishes off with...

Prautes is not readily expressed in English since the term meekness suggests weakness, but prautes is a condition of mind and heart which demonstrates gentleness not in weakness but in power.

It is a virtue born in strength of character.

Don't you hate how a lot of things in life are easier said than done? Yeah, me too.

Words of Wisdom

"Just go watch Twilight and fall in love with some pale faced dude."

My best friend, ladies and gentlemen.

You Know There's Too Many Starbucks When...

THE PLAN: Meet B.M. for coffee before small group at Starbucks at Yonge and Eglinton at 5:30pm

Simple enough right?

Wrong.

It took me 30 minutes and running back and forth between two Starbucks multiple times to figure out there's another one around the corner where B.M.'s actually at.

So today I asked myself:

"When are you going to stop doing idiotic stuff?"

And in reply, self answered wryly:

"When His Kingdom comes."

Touche.

I'll never fully idiot-proof myself in all areas of life as much as I would like to. So I'm just going to work on outwitting the idiot in me, and doing damage control.

All that aside, thank goodness there's grace.

*Breathe of relief.*

The Plant Killer Strikes Again

So Paris, my orchid, named after Paris Hilton, yes that's right I named my plant after Paris Hilton, because she is finicky, is turning brown after one week of no water. One week! She's only suppose to be watered on a weekly basis. I've been so good all these other weeks, but after one week she goes brown on me. Not just any brown...she has to shrivel too. It's starting at the top, and it's slowly spreading down like gangrene. There goes my hopes for ending my spree as a serial plant killer. Sigh.

On the bright side, if she dies before Christmas I won't need a plant sitter......

AND I'm glad I tested my mettle before I went out and splurged on this other really exotic and expensive orchid that I saw.

So Uninspired

Have had such a lack of inspiration lately. I've been wanting to draw, paint, design, shoot, and make, but my creativity is clogged like a stuck sink. Sucks for me because I need to do artsy fartsy stuff to feel rejuvenated. Here's to hoping dancing will help tonight, and that Sleeping Beauty on Saturday will act as a creativity draino.

Five Good Things

1. Cute chubby babies and their cheeks.
(If I have kids I want REALLY CHUBBY BABIES.)
2. Peeing after holding it in for a long time in very cold weather.
(Too much information? Too late.)
3. Cooking and dancing party.
(It works. Put something on the stove, and then dance away while it cooks.)
4. Actually looking forward to going home for Christmas.
('Tis an answer to prayer.)
5. Experiencing the joy of the Lord.
(And not being depressed during the dreary winter months.)

Something Explodes

When I listen to this song, joy wells up and explodes into awe.

Back to the Vomit

If I, myself were standing outside of my life and looking in, I would first, slap myself a few times, and then sit me down for a good talking to.

Oh silly girl, I thought we learned this lesson already?
VERY well, in fact.
But no, it seems we have forgotten and as a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats her folly. (Proverbs 26:11)

What a glutton for punishment, I am. Why do I maltreat myself?

I am so frustrated and so tired of this.

There's something to be said about "being understood". When a person knows when to listen, when to talk, when to comfort, when to rebuke, when to validate, when to push back, when to laugh, when to sympathize, when to joke, and when to be serious, and when to tell you to shut. your. face.

I really miss my best friend.

The right to be ridiculous is something I hold dear."
~ Bono, U2

Amen, brother, AMEN.

Five Good Things (About Today)

1. Chillage with the BFF and the BF of the BFF on Queen St. W.
I adore playing third wheel with couples that don't make me feel left out.
2. Kari Mee and Laksa (Malaysian noodle soups)
I am plotting the next taste...
3. Making friends with store owners with my mandarin.
It's nice to dust the cobwebs off my mando.
4. Getting fresh supplies to make jewelry.
I've been wanting this one necklace that goes for $60. But why buy, when I can make it for much, much, less?
5. Trying on a SWEET jacket at Old Navy, but not buying it (yet).
It looked SO good on me. Like it was made for me. I need to learn how to sew.

Ahh...

Bluewick Jasmine Soywax Candle

The most natural man made jasmine scent I've ever smelled. It's like having a jasmine blossom right under your nose.

Mhmm...jasmine.

Five Good Things (To Come)

1. An evening in with a chick flick.
2. Brunch with a dear friend.
3. Jogs
4. Photography
5. Church

Come weekend, come.

Household Fun

SJ: Where's the cheese grater?
Me: Your ma---. Crap. I was going to say your mom's a cheese grater.

Filler convo.

SJ: I won't kill you if you tell me where the cheese grater is.
Me: It's somewhere.
SJ: Somewhere?
Me: It's somewhere in the kitchen.

--------------------------------------------------

SJ: We need an ugly naked guy like Friends.
Me: We DO!!! (Gestures across the way to the other building.)

Later on...

SJ: We're like Friends on estrogen without the crazy sex lives.

Stuck In My Head

Mhmmm.....

Martha's Vineyard roadtrip memories...