Did you hear the one about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?





















He stayed up all night wondering if dog existed.

The Ingeniously Stupid Things That I Do

Three people in one apartment with a small fridge means that there's usually a lack of fridge space. And I for one am a lazy cook so I like to make HUGE quantities of food and eat it for a week. The problem that arises of course is "Where do I store it?"

That's the one good thing about having severe weather warnings, my huge balcony automatically becomes a deep freezer.

In December I decided to make congee during one of my super lazy days and of course I made a lot. And of course there was no room left in the inn...I mean fridge. So being the ingenious person that I am, I put the whole pot of it outside...and promptly forgot about it. Until now.

Tonight when I went to retrieve it the whole load of it was frozen solid, but thankfully there was no mold or anything of the like. After I heated it on the stove to defrost it enough to flush it down the toilet I brought the pot to the bathroom and proceeded to empty the entire contents into the bowl. Little did I know that only the outer edges was defrosted, the core was still frozen. And what a large core.

There I was standing over the toilet bowl with a huge block of congee ice almost the same size, sitting in the bowl. What's a girl to do? Why, get a pair of chopsticks that shall never ever be used again and poke at it of course!

Well that didn't do any good as the core was solidly frozen, and a good pair of chopsticks was wasted. The cheap, chinese side of me cringed.

Finally after a few basin full of hot scalding water the huge ice congee chunk dissipated into the drain.

Moral of the story? Well, come up with your own

The Saga of My Tooth

Me: "I can't believe that you remembered me."
My Dentist: "You're my most expensive patient."
Me: "I've invested a lot of money into this tooth too. I could have a huge diamond engagement ring by now."

Later on...
Me: "I have nightmares about all my teeth falling out."
My Dentist: "Why don't you dream that this one does?"

Even later on...
My Dentist: "I should've taken the tooth out when I had the chance."
Me: "If you take it out now I'm going to gold plate it and put it on a necklace."
My Dentist: "I want half of it. You can have the part with two roots. I'll take the one with one root."

At the end...
My Dentist: "Wow I've known you for SIX years!"
Further exclamations about being old.
Me: "I'm sorry I make you feel old."