my God is more than worthy...

i had a difficult conversation with my mom this afternoon regarding joining staff. it seems like it's creating a lot of tension these days. probably because i can't express myself properly in chinese.

"why can't you just get a normal job? it'll be more secure. you don't have to beg for money."
"who's going to support you full-time all the time?"
"how can you take care of yourself that way?"
"be a teacher and go on missions during your summer vacation."
"why don't you just stay put at a church in Toronto? there's a need in Toronto. why do you have to keep going places?"

and so on and so forth...

while some of her comments are valid and others are not i understand that it is out of concern for me that she's asking these questions. but it's not a matter of my choice anymore. i can't deny the calling on my life into full-time ministry. i can't disobey. i don't want to disobey. how does one explain a call?

she worries about my ability to take of myself financially as staff, and i get stressed out too because honestly i've never taken care of myself before financially. but i realize in essence she's questioning God's faithfulness. is God going to be faithful or not in meeting my needs? i realize that my abilities are not on trial here, His faithfulness is. in one way or another He's going to prove Himself faithful. i have nothing to prove.

my God is worthy of everything that i could ever offer to Him and more.