me? intimidating? no way!

so i've been told many a times now that i'm intimidating in three different contexts.

one is in the context of dating or whatever you want to call it. apparently i have this sign on my forehead that scares guys off. when i first heard that, i laughed. i still do. it's funny. it bugged me a bit, but it's good in a way because i don't have an intimidating dad or an older brother to weed out the weak ones so something's gotta weed them out. no one wants to date/marry a pansy well maybe some people, but i don't. so i shrugged it off.

second is in the realm of first impressions. i was told last year by a few people i make initimidating first impressions. i laughed again, but it irked me too cuz i thought i was pretty sociable and friendly. i tried being friendlier, but apparently i still do intimidate the first years? this isn't good. i want to be approachable next year. how am i suppose to serve people if they're scared to talk to me? that defeats the whole purpose doesn't it?

the last context is in term of rebukes. i've had people hold their breathe while rebuking me and breathing relief after rebuking me. then they tell me that they're relieved i didn't bite their heads off. this is the one that sounds the warning bell in my head. WHAT THE HECK? i don't think i'm being intimidating. plus i think i take rebukes pretty well. the worst reaction you'd ever get from me is silence, but obviously there's an issue somewhere here. i mean when someone's scared to rebuke you, that's not a good sign. and i love getting rebukes. ok, well no one likes getting rebuked, but you know what i mean. i know i'm not perfect,so i do really appreciate outside input cuz other people can see things that i don't notice. there's always room for improvement. but if no one tells me how the heck am i suppose to know? yikesers.

so i think from the outside it looks like i have an attitude problem or something. i'm puzzled. maybe it's because i have a scary looking "relaxed" face. you know when you're tired and your face just goes. my mom told me i look scary that way, but dude i can't keep smiling all the time. especialy when i'm running on 4 hours of sleep. ok so i'll try not to run on 4 hours of sleep, but still! WHAT THE HECK?!