Shoulds, Wants, and Needs

The activities that occupy my day have been subconsciously divided up into 3 categories: Shoulds, Wants, and Needs.

Shoulds- Things that are my responsibility, that I ought to get done. i.e. ministry responsibilities.

Wants- Things that I want to do, like going to see Wicked, the musical.

Needs- Things that I need to do to keep my sanity. i.e. stay home and be a hermit.

When I told this to my counsellor he suggested a change. Apparently there is something to a name. To help manage stress, my counsellor suggested that I rename two of them shoulds- to Ministry and needs to Self-Care. So renamed they are.

Unfortunately if this was a Venn diagram on Graph Jam, none of the circles would intersect. I can't stay home and go see a musical at the same time. And unfortunately ministry drains me.

Sadly September was filled mostly with Ministry and Wants and little of Self-Care. Warning bells started ringing and red flags started waving when I felt suffocated every time I looked at my weekly schedule, and wondered, "when am I going to have a chance to breathe?" So now I have to take drastic measures to fill up my emotional tank or else pay hell in the future with my sanity.

Can I just say that it's not easy enforcing hermit status on yourself when your roommates and teammates are some of the funnest people around? It's only been day two of hermit status and I've already declined two invitations to hang out. TWO! And more to come. I hate the thought that I'm missing out on fun and inside jokes.

Not to say that staying home is bad. There is a reason why I need to. Many actually. And since I did stay home tonight instead of traipsing out on the town, I have shiny, mint green nails to show for it.

Pats on my back.

This is part of growing up I suppose. Choosing wisely over choosing emotionally.