Not "Either, Or", but "AND"

Single and content, yet desirous for marriage.

Seems like an oxymoron doesn't it? It used to seem to me like you have to hate one status in order to like the other. I use to villainize 'marriage' in my mind to hang on to what shred of contentment I had with being single, which is, in all honesty; no contentment at all. Or I'd swing the pendulum the other way and scorn singleness. Oh the folly of youth.

But it wasn't just me. It seems like a lot of people think like that too. It's not blatant. No one goes around with a bullhorn announcing: "You gotta hate being single if you want to get married or you have to hate marriage in order to enjoy being single." It's very subtle.

Like the question, "You have the gift of celibacy?" after I stated with conviction that I very much enjoy my single status. Seriously?

For the record, I don't think I have the gift of celibacy. I very much agree with my friend, M who says "You know you have 'the gift' when you're on your death bed and you've never been married."

But I digress. It's gotten to the point that I'm a bit hesitant to voice my desires for marriage or my desire for companionship for fear that I'm going to be misconstrued as being desperate and hating singleness, which in case you haven't figured out yet, I'm NOT. Recently at the hint of some of my desire for companionship, the outpouring of pity begins for the supposed plight that is 'singleness'. I might be oversensitive, but...

It is so very much possible to thoroughly enjoy and savour the season of singleness while desiring marriage at the same time. So this is my public service announcement stating thus:

I. ENJOY. BEING. SINGLE.
I like being able to do things at the drop of a time like going off to a swing dancing weekend with two days' notice.
I like staying out late without having to worry about someone needing me to come back home.
I like all the time that I have to devote to my hobbies.
I like being able to spend all that time with friends and family.
I like setting my own budget, my own timeline, my own goals.
I like eating whatever, whenever.
I like that I can work stupid, crazy, hours in ministry without anyone minding because campus ministry is definitely not a 9 to 5 job.
I like sprawling all over queen size beds when I get to hotels.
I like being in the driver seat every time I get into my car.
I like that I can buy stuff without consulting someone.
I like that I don't really need to think about anybody else except for me. I'm selfish.
I like ALL that FREEDOM.

At the same time...

I. WANT. TO. GET. MARRIED. SOMEDAY.
I want to be able to serve my husband, and cook yummy, delicious meals for him, do his laundry, help him find the right clothes, among other things.
I want to be able to come home at night to someone, to belong to someone.
I want to be able to bounce ideas off someone and have someone to go through life with.
I want someone to share my dreams and goals with.
I want someone to pick me up at the airport.
I want someone to freak out with like when I had chest pains and had to go to the ER.
I want someone to hold my hand at the ER.
I want to be that support for that someone, encouraging him to be all that God has created him to be and praying for him.
I want to keep a nice house so that he can return to a nice, homey, relaxed environment.
I want to start a family with someone and start a legacy with him, like Johnny Edwards.

And so much more...

So it's not either be happy with being single or desire to get married, but be happy being single and desire to get married.