The Bronchial Ab Workout

The first step is the tricky part.

FIRST, contract bronchitis. Whether it be viral or bacterial is of no significance. You can loiter in hospital corridors hopefully or sleep with the windows open with an industrial size fan blasting your face or anything else that you can concoct. Whatever. You just need to get bronchitis.

SECOND, wait for the innocent tickle in your sternum that is a precursor to the loud hacking, dry gagging, body rocking, convulsive bouts of coughing coming your way.

THIRD, do not take any cough syrup or antibiotics to maximize workout duration.

When you dread the next bout of coughing because of the accompanying pain that ripples through your abdomen you have successfully completed the bronchial ab workout.

*Side effects may include limited speech abilities, weird looks from strangers in public, ostracism in Toronto because people think you have SARS.