it's official

i got accepted as staff with Campus Crusade for Christ today. :)

reconnected

i'd never thought i'd say this, but i'm grateful for facebook, and ultimately to God.

at first when facebook was catching on, everyone was extolling the virtues of facebook, accrediting to it the rediscovery of old friends. i have to admit i was jaded. with all the moving that i've done across state lines and across international borders in the past 12 years, i could barely remember the full names of some of my friends. there would be no way for me to reconnect with old friends. i'd have to make due with just adding present ones. or so i thought.

on a whim yesterday i decided to search for the names of some of my dearest friends from my youth. just for the heck of it. just to see if by any chance, they'd jumped on the bandwagon too. the friends that made such a lasting impact that i actually remembered their full names. so i actually found a few from my junior high!

but that's not the most extraordinary thing. i found my best friend from grade 3!!! grade THREE! i've always wished that i would still have friends that i've known from childhood, and now i'm reconnected to my best friend from grade 3! i haven't seen her or talked to her, or had contact with her in a decade at least. i'm just so excited and so giddy and just....jubilant.

this means so much to me. i can't even verbalize it. this is one of the things that i've desired the most. there were points in my life when we were moving around that i really resented God for tearing me away from my friends. i came to terms with it when i recognizing His sovereignty in everything, and now He's brought me back to my friends.

life is sweet.

an epic adventure

good fiction is very hard to find these days. there's almost a 99% guarantee that any of the books you pick up is smutty. it's almost sad when you do finish a good book because that means you'll have to trudge through ten more crappy ones to read another good one.

i just finished zorro, the newest book by isabel allende the author of daughter of fortune. what a swashbuckling adventure it was. it draws you right into the world of the 1800's, and sweeps you away.

i highly recommend it.

brain farts

you know the definition of the word you want. you can feel the meaning of it. you can describe it. it's on the tip of your tongue. it starts with..., it means this..., and then bleggghhh. your mind blanks. all you can think of is that four letter word that you've used 10 ten times in the last paragraph, that makes you sound oh so juvenile, uneducated, and redundant. the essay is left unfinished, scattered on your bedroom floor, while you pound out your frustrations on your laptop huddled in a corner of your room.

ok so the part of that last line was an exaggeration. for the most part i've remained relatively calm and collected while writing this critique that's due in 12 hours? five minutes have just lapsed between that last sentence and this one. my brain is farting again even while writing something as trivial as a blog. maybe blogs aren't so trivial. any hope that said brain will recover long enough for me to write something coherent to finish off the other half of that essay is in tatters. ok exaggerating again, but that line does sound good.

alright, truth be told, i'm trying to figure out if i have any talent in writing. it's another whim of mine. that and the fact that i realize that my brain farts are not caused by fatigue, but by a lack of vocabulary. i miss the days where i was forced to memorize vocabulary weekly. the nerd in me comes out. so i hereby announce to the world that i am going to start reading the dictionary.

cop out

i admit, i copped out. i googled free blogger templates. the impending winter was getting too gloomy for me so i thought i'd liven my blog a bit. i really do like the colours. my only annoyance is that the flowers which accompanied this template don't appear here! ay..woe is me. as for the links...i didn't have time to update them. sorry to all who use my page as a blog roll.

the "p" word

pride.

"Let us, at the very commencement of our meditations, admit that there is nothing so natural to man, nothing so insidious and hidden from our sight, nothing so difficult and dangerous, as pride."
~Andrew Murray

of late i've noticed a bit of condescension in my tone, an attitude of superiority, and an air of "sigh. why don't you get it?" usually paired with impatience... caused by short term memory loss.

i forget that different people take different times and different things to catch the vision.
i forget that some things are just new to people even though it might be "old news" to me.
i forget that people do things differently and have different perspectives.
i forget that i once was also inexperienced, and still am in many ways.
i forget that God and others have treated me with grace and patience, and i should treat others with no less.
i forget that i am far, far from perfection.

"He who grows in grace remembers that he is but dust, and therefore does not expect his fellow Christians to be anything more. He overlooks then thousands of their faults, because he knows his God overlooks twenty thousand in his own case. He does not expect perfection in the creature, and therefore, he is not disappointed when he does not find it."
~ C.H. Spurgeon

a processing post

the weekly blog post. i can't believe it's come to this. i'm on the brink of becoming an unfaithful blogger. one quote that lurks in the dark recesses of my mind goes something like "when you're too busy for the important things in life...then you're getting too busy." i think i have been getting too busy. so much that i haven't really had time this past month or so to sit down and do things that would rejuvenate me or that i enjoy. like blogging for example. my life's gotten to the point where i feel like i'm just swept along to one thing after another after another...so much that i feel like my life's not my own anymore. i'm just being carried along the waves of time. 'tis time for some restructuring.

mainly i think the culprit is that i haven't had enough "alone" time. alone time with God and alone time in general. i haven't been diligent in guarding down times. i keep on trying to squeeze in appointments here or there. better boundaries need to be set.

i am definitely an introvert by nurture if not by nature. i don't have a large need for people. it's more refreshing for me to sit here all alone in a big house filled only with the hum of my laptop than to be in a throng of people.

i think i'm going to have more coffee dates. definitely some way cool cafes in downtown guelph. i've only discovered it this year. for that i am sad, but at least i discovered it before graduation.

express post

this morning i expressposted my staff application to HQ in vancouver, and becky mitts documented it with my digicam. it's SO much fun living with b. mitts. we are truly the dynamic "azn" duo. :D ha!

here are the pictures.















the final copy. i finally finished it after working on the major bio questions for a week.















getting the expresspost envelope.















the cat's in the bag.

now we wait....and by we i mean "i", but it sounds so much better pluralized.

Master, mission, mate

oh men, the constant white noise in every woman's life. (paraphrased from Post Cards from Corinth, the chapter entitled "Daughters of Eve".)

i recently read this from Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood, and it resonated deeply within me.

Jesus, if this is Your will
then YES to being single,
In my deepest heart, i want to marry,
to belong to a great man;
to know that i am linked to his life...
and he to mine...
following Christ and our dreams together...
but You know what i need.
if i never marry, it is YES to You.

~Ann Kiemel Anderson

there have been times where i have despaired, cried, wanted to slow down, or maybe...even stop, and no doubt i will experience similar things in the future, but God is good. the only way i can put mate in front of mission is to change the whole order and put it in front of Master, but i am sorely deceiving myself if i think that would the best scheme of things.

stellar weekend

this weekend has just been one highlight after another after another after another after another...ok you get the point. such a solid weekend. loved it!

highlight #1
it started off with darren's talk at the guelph weekly meeting on friday night. it just blew the crowd away. it was so powerful, inspiring, and challenging. you could FEEL the presence of the Holy Spirit. i cried because it was so moving and never has the vision to go to the world been so clearly casted at guelph. my only prayer is that people will do something with the conviction from that night.

if that was the only thing that had happened this weekend it would have been more than enough, but there's more!

highlight #2
after the weekly meeting ash and i went to pick up ryan at the train station. his train was delayed by about 40 min, but it was providential cuz we had a super conversation about the goodness of God that totally FILLED my heart to the brim and overflowed. plus it was a bonus to see them greet. ;)

highlight #3 guelph's hoe-down
enough said. country music and dancing? that's just icing on top of the cake. mad props to silas and alex wong (no relation) for mad improvements in their dancing skills. alex brought some swing dance moves in and it worked oh so well! and double mad props for taking the initiative and not being wallflowers.

highlight #4 the djembe
saturday morning i got up early and got my own djembe. so i finally "stopped my whining", "had a lovely day", and definitely "loved it".

highlight #5 chopping my chopsticks at king's buffet
lauren called becky and me up spontaneously and invited us out to dinner for some [fake] chinese food with trev, jamie, and suz. kirsten called us when we were on our way and we invited her along too. it was such a GOOD night. all through dinner i kept thinking how blessed i was to have such awesome friends. to top the night off we karate chopped a few pairs of chopsticks which led to the birth of the facebook group "i chopped my chopsticks at china king's buffet". btw kids, all guelph staff and students get 10% off at king's. (just trying to help becky keep her promise to the manager is all. :P) thanks andres for treating us!

highlight #6 showing up early for church
i woke up late this morning and thought i was half an hour late for church. bu hao i know, but i totally forgot about the time change and ended up being half an hour EARLY. yay for grace!

highlight#7 teens choir leading the service
it was so encouraging to be led in worship by the youth of the church. i know i'm not that old, but they were younger. that they are seeking and loving the Lord at such a young age is sooo refreshing. there's just something about mandarin too. definitely renewed vision and spurred me on.

highlight #8 the chinese community and lunch at church
love my aunties and uncles who are so welcoming even though i don't know them that well. love being in the chinese culture. i was glad that it didn't feel foreign or scary. got to pull out my hometown dialect and that felt SO good. i could go a mile a minute in my hometown dialect, but speaking in mandarin is like having a mouthful of marbles. it's definitely loosening up though as i'm getting more comfortable conversing in mando.

highlight#9 sunday afternoon nap
self-explanatory

highlight #10 marie antoinette movie date with the girls
after two hours of productive emailing i went to the movies with the girls to watch sofia coppola's marie antoinette. LOVED it. it was so lavish. :) also brownie points for NOT showing the gruesomeness of the french revolution and the beheading.

staff interview

well i finally had it!!! after one year of waiting i've finally had my staff interview.

it was a bit of a surprise actually. i got the email this past wednesday afternoon from laurie asking if i was available for an interview thursday morning at 8:30am. i was interviewed by her and jeff groenewald. we went to angels' diner, and i had some toast. it wasn't nerve-wracking at all, and it was quite enjoyable. i felt like i was just chatting with new friends. overall i think it went well although i did blank on some questions because i couldn't figure out how to be short-winded. that and the fact that it was early morning.

so i'm aimming to get the application done by tomorrow. then i'll express post it in along with the 3 remaining reference forms. if that happens, i should know if i've been accepted onto staff by December at the latest.

oh yeah i also had a killer schedule on thursday, but fortunately things were moved around. i still revel in the craziness of it all. for posterity: the schedule of thursday october. 26, 2006

6:30- wake-up
7:30-8:20- morning prayer [skipped]
8:30-9:50- staff interview
10:00-11:00- one on one discipleship time with christine [moved]
11:30-1:00- public economics midterm
1:00-???- MRI [definitely moved]
and
1:00- 2:00- one on one with kirsten
2:00-3:00- one on one with ashley [moved]
4:00-5:20- labour economics midterm
7:15-9:00- vaness's and my DG

fairy tales are deceiving

that was the line that was on one of the avatars that i use on msn. i'm not trying to bash fairy tales here, but whoa just going back to look at some of the fairy tales with the eyes of a 21 year-old is way different than a kid.

first of all i looked to see when "The Twelve Dancing Princesses" was written, and it was written in the 80's!!! i was really disappointed. aren't all fairy tales suppose to be written a long long time ago. it just doesn't seem right that a fairy tale could be written so "recently". that's my first beef. my second beef is the way fairy tales promote "love" and "beauty", etc.... it's all so...wrong. it makes me wonder if i would actually read my daughter(s) fairy tales, if i have any. those tales could create some serious problems.

now onto the little mermaid. i was watching it last night, and seriously there were some scenes that were scandalous even if it was just a cartoon. yikesers. AND to top that off....prince eric is really AWKWARD. i physically cringed at some of the stuff he said.

oh, how very ro---tic [romantic w/o the man]

yesterday was the hump day of midterms. it's the day when the fever breaks and you start to get better. it's the day when you can breathe a sigh of relief because the worst is over.

i had two midterms yesterday back to back with a one hour break in between. it went really well considering i didn't go to class for international trade in a month, and i haven't read any of the readings for labour economics. it was stressful, and i felt like i was all wound up like a spring. but the stress actually helped since i actually work better under stress. it gets me going. it took so much out of me though. i'm still so dead tired from it. i felt sucked dry. studying and learning really takes a lot of energy. go figure.

but anyways that wasn't the ro---tic part of the day at all. after the labour economics midterm chandley ashley and i went downtown for a mid-semester celebration. the scary thing is it is actually mid-semester. week 6 has just passed. everything blew by at warp speed. digressing yet again... we parked and just walked around downtown. it had such a romantic, fall feel to it. the shops were so quaint, cozy, and closed. everything closed so early yesterday. but there was a used book shop that we went to, and that's where the night took off.

i found a fairy tale book called "The Twelve Dancing Princesses", which i loved as a kid. i always used to check it out of the library. the copy i found yesterday was in pristine condition, and it was only $5! what a steal. so i bought it. ashley also found a story book from her childhood too. then we proceeded to scour downtown for a cool eating place, and we ended up at bollywood bistro for delicious, authentic indian food. the atmosphere there was really....cool. i kept telling her to bring ryan her boyfriend there when he comes to visit. we both had madrasa chicken with naan bread, and it was sooo delicious. a word to the wise though. don't bite on the "bean" that's in the sauce. i did that and it turned out to be a red hot chili pepper. it made me act like a fish that was dying out of water.

then afterwards we proceeded to go to Vanessa's birthday par-tay where we whooped the other team's butt in this movie trivia game thing. we hung out, chilled, had some great food, and neat drinks.

to top the night off on the way home from vanessa's we dropped by blockbuster on a whim to buy the little mermaid on DVD. at first we didn't see it on the shelves, and we thought that maybe it hadn't come out yet or that it was sold out. but then we saw it...two copies at the very bottom of the top-seller shelf encased in a protective box just for us. so we bought it for each other! hehehe :) what a sweet night.

"Brother You're Like a Six"

Are you a single Christian man who desires to be married? Let me help. I have an idea for a personal ad:
"Single Christian male (SCM) seeks single Christian female (SCF) to love as Christ loved the church, to give himself up for her to make her holy, to love as he loves himself (Eph. 5). SCF must be absolute physical knockout (no one scoring below 9.0, please), must love to talk politics and sports, and must possess a laundry list of pre-decided personal characteristics so completely that SCM is convinced no better option could possibly be available within the next decade."

Oh, you're a single Christian woman? No problem:
"SCF seeks SCM to submit to in everything as to the Lord, to respect, to serve, to follow and to be led by in discipleship and ministry, to trust as spiritual leader of the home, and to serve Christ with for the next several decades or until Jesus comes back. SCM must possess total confidence (but can't be cocky and must trust SCF's opinion in all things); must be devastatingly handsome but have no idea that he is; must be exquisite interpersonal communicator who enjoys nothing more than long, conversations about the relationship; must understand SCF completely; and must otherwise fit description of how SCF thought 'The One' would be since SCF started thinking about it at age 11."

this excerpt was from a boundless.org article by scott croft entitled "Brother You're Like a Six".
i burst out laughing when i got to "must be devastatinglyhandsome but have no idea that he is". it hit the nail right on the head. ha! actually all of it did. it's interesting to see all the standards that we have of our future spouses verbalized...
which is what this article addresses. standards for marriage. the realistic ones and unrealistic ones. along with the Biblical and the unbiblical. solid teaching. provides a lot of food for thought. i'm still mulling on it. solid read. go read it.

blogging paranoia

recently i haven't been the avid blogger as i have been in the past. there's a few factors that have contributed to this.

1. the general busyness of life
2. better time management skills??? less procrastinating in the blogosphere
3. blogging paranoia

i would say the third one is the main culprit. recently i've read quite a few disturbing articles about people who've lost their jobs because of their blogging. but really have i written anything that would warrant me losing a job? i don't think i've been heretical or blasphemous....the general gist is that i've been concerned with writing stuff that could come back to haunt me in a few years.

for example what if some dictator takes over the world, and considers my blog to be anti-him or anti- her and then throws me into jail just because i worded a few sentences wrong? extreme, yes i know. but on the other hand if you look at the reign of some authoritarian governments, which shall not be named, anything and everything could and was used to incriminate.

i digress. i've actually considered deleting this blog, and starting another one with a really inconspicuous web address. i never thought i'd say this, but i definitely cannot blog as i use to. there's tons of mental censorship going on. maybe it's for the better...you know showing prudence, wisdom, establishing good boundaries and such...

edit*
or maybe my blogging pattern has just changed. instead of blogging every so often. i do massive multi-entry updates like what i just did. these things have been brewing in my head...i just didn't get around to writing them.

the bling has blung

welcome to bling bling. a.k.a. the OEX household. ni hao. gototheworld.com

so sayeth the sign greeting all of our guests yesterday at the very first party of the year at the Bling Bling; my birthday party.

there were people from toronto, waterloo, london, and calgary. it was like a mini-project reunion for all 3 summer projects. it was really good to see people that i haven't seen in ages, reminisce, reconnect, and get made fun of....

we got people to introduce themselves and say where they knew me from. then becky got peeps to share their favorite memory of me and or something they like about me. it was really encouraging and touching. a testament to Jesus' work in my life especially margie's memory of me from first year. i was scared to bits of going sharing, and freaked out to even give out flyers for Passion of the Christ. sometimes i still feel like that. as i sat there and listened i hoped that what everyone heard was not the ability and the passion of shelly chen to do things for Jesus, but how He has used me for His purposes. that they would see it was not me, that it was the Lord, the same Lord in their lives who can use them.

it was also enlightening as i found out how people viewed me and i even found out some stuff that i didn't know about...like how ben knows me because i dated his best friend. [sic] there were definitely some funny awkward moments. i don't think i'll ever forget heather macgregs blowing my cover. hahaha on one hand i was cringing. on the other hand i wanted to laugh.

God has brought so many solid friends into my life. quality and quantity. more than i could have asked for.

highlights
* blowing out all 21 candles. yay! but alas no boyfriends. ;)
* getting the ESV Bible that i've been coveting for a year after i saw lydia's

vanessa: "are you going to open your presents?"
me: "sure if you want me to."
shakes vanessa's gift
me: "is it chocolate?"
vanessa: "no"
i stand there as my eyes slowly widen as understanding dawns.......then..
a typical excited shelly scream

* getting the mini scrapbook that i've been coveting since becky and i first went to paper moon, this scrapbooking store.
* seeing so many projectiles
* the birthday cake made with loooooove

thanks becky mitts for all this. you're an awesome housemate and friend.

doth mine eyes deceive me?

it SNOWED. just an hour ago. now the sun is all bright and shining.

that's just...DONC. i really dislike using that word, but no other word seems to fit. it SNOWED! on october the 12th! my last year of university and it snows in october?!

i don't seem to mind the cold weather as much i use to though. winter seems to have grown on me. i don't dread it as much. in fact i look forward to busting out the christmas carols in about a month.

"oh the weather outside is frightful..."

looking back and looking forward

looking back
milestones in my 21st year of life...

~attending a Christian concert (Passion: Toronto)
~going to Panama
~going to Calgary, AB
~directing a project!!!
~seeing the Rockies
~attending a bachelorette party
~going to a friend's wedding (two of 'em)
~leading a DG
~attending a drum circle
~taking grad pictures
~jumping into a freezing lake

looking forward
God-willing...
~ meeting Roger Hershey?!?!?!
~ joining staff and headin' overseas
~ support-raising a salary
~ graduating from university!

....and i can't forsee anything beyond that....

satisfied? satisfied!

correction: my 21st birthday wasn't the best birthday in a long time. it was the best birthday ever because it was a testament of God's love and grace in my life... not because i had a huge expensive party at panorama. the years just keep getting better and better.

for once i was content with and thankful for everything and everyone that God has brought into my life instead of being fixated on what i wanted, but did not have, what i should do to get what i did not have, and who forgot my birthday.

i know this is from God because six months back i had blogged about not being able to dredge up contentment. i've tried to muster up contentment before, and it has never worked. it was like pulling teeth. so truly this is the work of God in my life. then the fact that i am able to give credit where it is due is another example of God working in my life because just this thursday i was telling kirsten that i have a hard time giving God the credit for things because of my massive pride.

so thank You, Lord for Your faithfulness.
and thank you to everyone who remembered my birthday. it was sweet and heart-warming to get the calls, the emails, the e-cards, and the facebook notes. AND it's ok if you didn't. :) i'm not guilt-tripping you, and i'm not the center of the universe....not even on october the 7th.

21

two one.
whoa.

best birthday in a long time though. :) thank you God.