New Blog

With a new season of life and new endeavours, comes a...new blog!

I will be blogging at shellyspithoffblog.com from now on!

Thanks for reading!  See you over at the new site!

THE Dress

After we got engaged I told Tony that I was going to milk the dress shopping experience for all its worth.  I was going to go to as many boutiques as I could and try on as many beautiful dresses as my heart desired to find the prettiest one.
After all you only get married once, God-willing, but we won't get into that.

Anyways as I was saying, "milk it for all it's worth."  Famous last words.

After only one visit to a store I was done with dress shopping and was ready for it to be over.

We went to David's Bridal where they carried a line of Vera Wang gowns that looked ethereal and absolutely stunning...in the catalogue.

Beautiful, but only on the right body type.  Ex. not mine.
I was this close to buying the one on the bottom left.

On a wisp of a teen that was probably 5 inches taller than me, and about 20 pounds lighter.

Side note: throughout my life I've been blessed by God with a fairly healthy self-image so it was a bit of a shock and downer that I felt as ugly and dumpy as I did that night.
I can say that I've never felt ugly and dumpy.

Unhappy with caterpillar eyebrows and a strong jaw line in my teens, yes.
Ugly and dumpy, no.

But that night I felt ugly and dumpy.

Add in the fact that Lydia, Selina and I spent more time waiting around than trying on dresses,
and the fact that the dresses weighed a ton,
and the fact that with every dress, my indecision grew worse,
and you'll know why I was ready to never walk into another bridal store to shop for myself again.

Except I had walked out of David's without a dress so I still needed to walk into another store to get a dress.

So two days later I went to Becker's Bridal with my friend Steph where I tried on
beautiful dress,
after beautiful dress,
after beautiful dress...


...until I realized that there was going to be no end of beautiful dresses.
The more I tried on, the even more indecisive I became trying to find the prettiest one.
I could hear my mom's voice in my head saying, "There will always be something better."
There will always be a "prettier" dress depending on my mood no matter which dress I chose because let's be honest there were quite a few that I wanted.

So I decided to end the madness, and chose one that was beautiful that I loved among the many, many, pretty gowns out there.

This one:

Just kidding.
I would never post a picture of the real deal before the big day.

The Proposal Story

The proposal story starts somewhere in September of 2011 when Tony and I first started talking about getting married.

By October I was expecting a ring.

By November I was getting antsy.
We had talked about getting married sometime in the early summer of 2012, and I wanted enough time to plan.
Did I mention that I am an incredibly impatient person?
I am an incredibly impatient person.
Now you know.

So in November Tony promised that he would propose before 2012.

In the meantime to assuage my impatience I sat him down for two hours of ring browsing online.

"I like that. " 
"I don't like that." 
"That band is too thick."  
"That band is too thin."
"That's too tacky."


Meanwhile on one of our dates at a gorgeous waterfall, I commented,
"It would be nice if you had proposed here.  At a waterfall."















By December he was well trained in my jewelry tastes and I was jubilant because
THIS. WAS. GOING. TO. BE. THE MONTH!
I even posted something to that effect on Facebook.

So for every one of our Saturday dates I got gussied up, and patted him down when he came to the door.  And by patted him down I mean patted him down.  I even made him take off his shoes, and looked in them.

Horrible, I know.
For those of you who are not engaged yet, DON'T. DO. THIS.

Which is why my roommates rebuked me.
So I stopped the airport security treatment, and released Tony from the December 31, 2012 deadline, and we happily went on our Saturday dates to yummy brunch joints,  followed by some fun activity.

By mid December both my best friend Lydia and I had our bets on Christmas Eve.
And on Christmas Eve we had plans to go hiking at Webster's Falls.  Maybe....this was it...?!
I tried to keep my hopes down, and boy was it hard.
Trying to keep my hopes down was like trying to keep a lid still on a boiling pot of soup.
But Christmas Eve came and Christmas Eve went along with Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, and New Year's Day.

By mid-January I had a freak out due to a miscommunication via text, which led to Tony disclosing the fact that he did have the ring, and that he had planned on proposing on Christmas Eve except he wanted to have my parents' blessing first and they haven't gotten back to him since December 17.

Tony had stealthily gotten their emails and my step dad's phone number from an email I had sent, and from my phone when I left it unattended, but the problem was that they only checked their personal emails once every ice age and he had copied my step dad's cell number wrong.  So some random person in California has a text requesting a phone date.

So the moral of the story is never discuss important things via text.
End public service announcement.

On with the rest of the story.

I knew it was coming some time in the near future when January 14, 2012 dawned even though it was a Saturday much like any other Saturday.

The plan was to:
Sleep in.
Eat at a local brunch joint.
Go hiking at a local waterfall, which was unfortunately named Balls' Falls after Mr. Balls.

Which we did.

Snow had fallen just the night before so everything was perfectly covered in an untouched layer of white when we arrived.  There was no one else there.  Just us, the silence of the forest, the beauty of the snow, and the dull rumble of the waterfalls in the distance.

There were two waterfalls at the conservation area.  One was near the ruins of an old mill to the north.  One was near a mini village of historic buildings that included a mill that was intact, a church, and some barns.

We hiked to the former one first.
Explored a bit.
Took a few pictures and turned around to go to the other one.












By the time we got to the second waterfall I was cold even though I was wearing two layers of socks, boots, and all the typical winter gear.  I was content with a few look arounds and was ready to head back to the car so we could get some ho cho.  That's my short form for hot chocolate.

But Tony dillied and he dallied.
Could it be...?

Finally I was too cold to stick around so I was more adamant about my requests to leave and get hocho.

At which point Tony said,

"Before we go I have to ask you something."


And he pulled out a beautiful sapphire ring from his pants pocket.

"I'm not the type who's big on speeches.  I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you..."


He kneeled down in the snow.

"Will you marry me?"


To which I responded with,

"REALLY?! REALLY?! REALLY?! REALLY?!  REALLY?!"


Times 100 or something like that.
The "really's" went on for a few minutes while I still left him kneeling in the snow.
I was just flabbergasted that THIS. WAS. ACTUALLY. HAPPENING.

WE'RE GETTING ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I eventually got a hold of myself and said,

"Yesssssssssss."


And we celebrated by telling our family and friends and clogging our arteries with two delicious burgers from the Burger's Priest.












The End.

The New Neighbourhood

Sing to the melody of "12 Days of Christmas".

On the first day of moving to my new neighbourhood I found:

5 restaurants
4 coffee shops
3 pharmacies
2 small grocery stores/ adult shops
1 TD bank/ art gallery/market/ indie bookstore

...within a 5 minute walking distance.

Looks like we're going to have all we need at our finger tips.

Despite my reservation or maybe because of my reservation of having to move out of Toronto, I feel quite blessed with our new place.
It's like God saying, "See, I'm taking care of you."
(And Him knowing what a wimp I am, but that's another post for another day.)

Our apartment is in a very beautiful, classy neighbourhood*, with plenty of amenities and beautiful old architecture.  For the first time we decided to move to Hamilton I felt a bit of excitement and hope that I might enjoy living in Hamilton after all.

Coffee shops and a bookstore within walking distance.  I can't ask for more than that.  It's definitely an upgrade from my current neighbourhood, which is literally on the wrong side of the tracks.

Anyways I am thankful.

Here is a picture of the outside of our digs:

*Classy with the exception of the adult shops.  It was such a shock to the system to see them.  I remember thinking "I don't want Tony to be walking by these all the time", but it was also a bit funny that they would be in the kind of neighbourhood that has cute coffee shops and trendy bistros serving ethnic food.

Five Good Things [Tony Edition]

1.  He will always cuddle upon request.  

2.  When we stay at his parents to commute to work in the morning; he always gets up before me, wakes me up, and packs my things and puts them next to the door so they're ready to go.

3.  He is superb @ Excel and financial management, both of which I suck at.

4.  He does not freak out when I freak out.  

It's a very good thing one of us is emotionally stable.

5.  He teaches me patience.  

Five Good Things

1. A full return on a pair of rubber boots that cracked after 4 months of wear. Hunter you disappointed me, but at least I got my moolah back.

2. A rich Georgia Mud Fudge Blizzard on a relaxing train ride.

3. $4 tank tops.

4. The Bookseller of Kabul. Heartbreaking, but good.

5. Sun, sun, suuuuuuun!!!!!

Five Good Things

My taste buds have been going crazy every since T and I got back from China.

I've been craving Asian food so badly.

1.  Ma La Food.
Roughly translated this means numbing and spicy food.
It's the specialty of my hometown, Chongqing.
What can I say?  I miss heartburn.

2.  Creamy Taro Bubble Tea.
Not all bubble tea are created equal.  Some are more watery than others.  I crave the creamy type.

3.  Edamame.
I think I've killed this craving by making 3 bags full of edamame and consuming them within 48 hours.

4.  Tofu.
And I'm not talking about the white soft ones.  I'm talking the chewy yellow-beige ones.

5.  Rice.
Oh, good old rice.  I love filling my stomach with you.
But alas you're so carby!

10 Things I Like About T.S.

1.  He remembers random facts about me, and whips them out, out of nowhere.
The other day we were driving, and he said, 'look there's your dream car,' and then pointed to a baby blue mini cooper in front of us.

2.  He always carries my heavy bags.  Always.

3.  He's incredibly gracious with this pathological latecomer.

4.  He is incredibly servant hearted.
Case in point he drives many kms for me.
From Toronto to Burlington to Guelph to Cambridge to Guelph and then back to Toronto.

5.  He cheerfully minces garlic, and scoops out squash for me.
I hate mincing garlic and scooping out squash.

6.  He willingly suggests and goes to farmer's markets with me because he knows I heart them.
What non-hippie, non-foodie guy wants to go to the farmer's market?

7.  When playing 'Worms', he gives me tips on how to kill his worms.
But it doesn't matter.  His engineering skills pwns mine anyway.

8.  He asks me kindly about my seasonal affective disorder, and tries to help.
Like buying me flowers on a regular basis.

9.  He is always gentle AND manly!  Like Jesus.  Even when disagreeing with me.

10.  He wears the same size pants as me so when I soak my pants with milk by accident, I can teef his shorts.
Like last night.

*Note:  He doesn't think he's a romantic, but he is.  Look at this list!  And there's more I have not written.

Five Good Things

1. Ancaster Old Mill for dinner.
2. Family hike and pumpkin picking and turkey dinner.
3. A real live doggy to snuggle and sleep with. For 4 nights at least.
4. A certain tall ginger with the initials T.S.
5. Friends who care enough to bring pecan pie and ask hard questions.

The Birthday Wishlist

I didn't want to put one up this year, but a few people have asked, saying it's really helpful, and they said it's a way for them to show love so...upon multiple requests here it be:

1.  Anything from Curious Oddities at Fresh Collective that I don't already own.
I'm starting to really like the old, vintage look of bronze and oxidized copper.
I think I like it more than silver.

2.  A Gardenia plant.
I know I suck at keeping plants alive, but they smell SO nice!

3.  Copic Markers.
Not the whole set mind you.  That would break the bank.  Just a few colours here and there.  I particularly like the blues.  You can get them at Curry's.

4.  Any picture frame, knick-knack, glass bottle from Chatelet.
I love the Parisian chic look.

5.  Art Supplies
~  White Acrylic Paint
~  White Oil Paint
~  Canvas (the larger the better)
~  Round Palette
~  Palette Knives


















*No gift cards please! :D

You know you're getting old(er) when you want furniture.

I'm saving up for this sucker because my desk has turned into a cluttered storage area.

In the other news, I was contemplating a bag change since the library that I carry to work everyday was getting to be a bit too much.  I had my eye on this guy:

because:

1)  He was classy and grown up.
2)  He was by Matt & Nat.

But I opted out and went for this:



















because:

1)  She was cheaper.
2)  She was better for my back.

Which, I suppose, was actually the grown up thing to do.

Pats on the back for me for not splurging.  Pat. Pat. Pat.

Puppy Fever

I want a puppy.

But my roommate does not.

So I'm trying to get my boyfriend to want one and buy one so I can live vicariously through him, by sending him these pictures:

PREPARE TO DIE OF CUTENESS!

P.S.  Alas this plan is doomed to failure because he is too busy driving to Toronto to see me to take care of an energetic puppy who will probably tear his house down while he is gone.  Sad face.

Ever Gracious

Monday night in an attempt to save $8 on a Go train ticket, I bummed a ride with T.S. to Hamilton because I would be in various parts of the armpit of Ontario for shoots on Wednesday and Thursday.

Now a shoot requires at the very least, a working camera, a working SD card, a working battery, and a working brain.  I had all of that in Toronto except for the working brain.

Because when we got to Hamilton, I realized that I had none of that with me because I had left it at L.Y.'s birthday party right before we left for Hamilton.

Fail.

How was I suppose to do two shoots now?
The answer: go back to Toronto and retrieve said equipment.
Plan: Save $8 back fired.

If I was with me, I would've thought, or said, perhaps with a few drips of condescension, "You idiot."

But T.S., ever the gracious and patient one kept the "You idiot" comments, if they existed to himself, and pulled out a $20 bill to pay for my return fare to Toronto and back.  Because I had no money on me either.

Five Good Things

1.  Fried Chicken from Popeye's
2.  Biscuit Sausage and Egg from McDonald's
3.  Peanut Butter ice cream from M&M meat shops
4.  Portabello mushroom sandwhich from the Bean Bar in Hamilton.
5.  Orange juice.  

Curious Oddities

Currently my favourite jewelry designer is Kat from Curious Oddities.
My super hip friend Beth [let's not lie, I have a friend crush on her even though we are already friends] introduced me to her at Fresh Collective .

Everything about her style is so "me".
I love the old world, Victorian, romantic, feel.  It just speaks to me.
I wish I knew how to do metalwork.

This is the cool thing about art, artists, and God.

No two artists are ever the same, even when one tries to imitate another, but then again one can debate about whether that is art or not.  But what I'm trying to say that God in His genius, created artists to be unique in their own way stylistically.  As much as I love Kat's style, my natural art would not turn out to be like hers, which is why I dish out the dough for her stuff.

Anyone else got some awesome designers that they like?

Classes I Would Take

If I had the chance, I'd want to take classes in:

1.  Flower Arranging
2.  Jewelry- Smelting/Metal Working
3.  Interior Design
4.  Sewing
5.  Sailing


Which one is not like the others?

Five Good Things

1.  Chilly nights.
I can't sleep when it's hot.  I like to huddle under my down comforter.

2.  Fruity Fizz.
Raspberry/kiwi is my favourite.

3.  Quality time with T.S.

4.  Americanos.

5.  Portobello mushrooms.
Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom.

Remind and Refocus

Today as we were waiting for Easter lunch to cook, a friend and I watched the last bit of the Ten Commandments.  As we were getting near the part where the Israelites freak out after Moses goes M.I.A. for 40 days, I started to get agitated because I knew what was coming.  They were going to give into their fears, and make an idol, even after all that God has done for them.  I was seriously annoyed.

It was such an automatic, visceral reaction to a movie that I started to analyze my response.  It wasn't just the fact that they were going to do something stupid that I reacted so strongly in my heart, it was the fact that the vivid onscreen portrayal of the Israelites' faithlessness and stupidity accurately mirrored my own.  I saw myself doing the exact same thing, forgetting God and turning to idols the minute I get freaked out.

I'd like to think that I always walk by faith, but upon reflection my default setting is to trust myself and not to trust God.  When I enter a "foreign land" whether it's a new situation, a new stage in life, a new responsibility, my automatic instinct is look to myself for help, and not to Christ.  It doesn't bode well especially if I have no clue about what I'm doing.

You'd think I'd learn by now that being self-sufficient isn't the best way to go about life since there are so many things in life where I'm way out of my comfort zone...but no, I still need to constantly remind myself and refocus on Christ.

Five Good Things

1.  Friendly reminders to get off the train when you're near your stop.
2.  Naps.  I wonder how many times naps have made this list.
3.  Portobello mushrooms.
4.  Comfortable heels.
5.  Banter

What's in a Date? What a Few Dates Taught Me About Myself, Life, and God

In my 25.5 years of having lived on this planet, my experience in the romantic realm included:
~ 1 "boyfriend" of a week in high school, of which the relationship consisted of hand-holding and snuggling.  I use the term "boyfriend" very loosely.
~ Multiple murky friend-lationships that hit dead ends once they were defined.  (Definition of friend-lationship was always initiated by me.)
~ Countless unrequited crushes. (Unrequited to my knowledge anyways.)
~ Lots of heartaches that were inflicted upon myself by my own immaturity.

That is all to say, the knowledge and wisdom that I had/have in this area consisted/consists of very little, and what very little that I do have is very theoretical.  So it was quite surprising the things I learned when I actually went on some "dates".  I use term "date" loosely as well.  Don't ask, I'm not going to tell beyond what is here.


1.  Finding a life partner isn't black and white, just as life isn't black and white.
Unfortunately there is no sure-fire formula of a+b+c= finding that someone, as much as I wish there was. I'm sure many of you do too.
I use to think that courtship is the only way to get married, and if my future husband didn't court me, my marriage would eventually fail, but that's not true.
Aside from wise principles of integrity like "guard your heart", "don't date someone with different beliefs", and others, there isn't a black and white, so-called better way to finding a mate.

i.e. courting vs. dating
i.e. online vs. offline
i.e. being friends first vs. being set up

2.  This whole process and every minute detail has to be held with an open hand.  
There are a lot of things that I would prefer to happen on the way to the altar, but more and more I realize that I have to hold them with an open hand, and trust that God has my best in mind.

i.e. like the fact that I use to only want to date and marry staff within my organization.
i.e. like the fact that I think it's completely unromantic to meet my future husband online, and would rather meet him "naturally" and befriend him first.
i.e. like the fact that I don't like being set up.

God is creative, and if He's writing my love story I can't dictate to Him how I want it to happen.

I went against every single preference that I listed above, in the past few weeks.

3.  Clarity is a beautiful thing.
Whether I date or court, I realized that I like clarity.
Whether it's "we're just going on this one date to get to know each other without any expectations of any future romantic attachments" or "we're going to court to see if we're meant for marriage", clarity is a beautiful thing.  It makes it much easier for me to understand where the relationship is, and how to behave, think, and feel accordingly.  The trouble comes when I think there's more to the relationship than there actually is, and my emotions and actions follow that train of thought.
Usually because I overanalyze and read into things.

And no, no one asked to court me.  That was just a hypothetical example.

4.  Dating is emotionally draining for me on two levels.
On one level it's intentionally getting to know someone, which is always draining for me especially if I'm meeting someone new.
On another level it's draining because I'm always monitoring my heart and my thoughts making sure I'm not getting ahead of myself.

5.  First dates make bad first impressions.
I knew that people got nervous on first dates, but most of the guys were more nervous that I expected.  So much so that I was actually surprised at how nervous they were, which was endearing in some cases.

6.  Spiritual compatibility is supremely important to me.
That said even with #5 in mind, lack of spiritual compatibility is definitely a deal breaker even on a first date.
There is no negotiation on this one.

7.  Dating tests my faith in the goodness of God.
If he doesn't like me, if he doesn't ask me out again, if I don't like him, if this relationship doesn't end in marriage, do I still trust that God is good to me?

8.  Dating tests my faith in the sovereignty of God.
If I say something wrong, hurt someone in the process, make a blunder, or get hurt in the process, do I still trust that God is sovereign, and that He ordains all things for the good of those who love Him?

9.  Dating reveals where I find my identity.
Am I crushed when someone doesn't call me back or pursue me because I find my value and worth in how much a man/ any man esteems me?

or

Am I able to let it go and not take it personally, realizing that not everyone's meant for me and that Christ esteems and values me?

10.  Dating reveals where I place my hope.
Do I place my hope in what I see?
i.e. I have hope for a future because there is/are a man/men before me who are potential date(s).

or

Do I place my hope in Christ?
i.e. That whether or not there are potential date(s) around me, He has a good future in store for me.