I don't know if I agree - I need to think about is some more. It seems like most of her arguments are based on tradition, not the Bible. I agree that we don't want to presume we are wiser than people of the past, but I don't think we should just accept whatever they taught.
I wish she pointed out the specific areas of thought on the issue that she was refuting. I agreed with some things that she said but was not so familiar with what she was arguing against. I haven't even read much singleness propaganda.
I don't think the two sides really have their terms defined very well. If what is meant by "singleness" is that you don't have multiple intimate relationships before you finish high school, then I totally agree with the "gift of singleness." But, if it means simply remaining single throughout your 20 something years just for the sake of dedicating yourself to God's service, you're missing out on the chance to serve God and glorify Him through a marriage that both lifts Him up and draws you closer to him. I think singleness can actually be a hinderance to godliness if you stay that way too long. You can remain self centered (since marriage should forces lots of that out of you), you can get apathetic, or lazy, and anti-social. We must remember, Paul was a special case. I think that godly (intimate) relationships have the potential to make you fall very much in love with your creator.
I think a guy who remains single has a greater chance of also remaining a boy for much longer than is glorifying to God. Maybe he never will grow up.
wow, there is a lot to say.
All that keeps me single right now is fear and apathy. It is certainly not my godliness. I'm not saying that they are standing in line or anything and I am not saying that every guy is afraid and apathetic like me.
anonymous duo aka lyd and pri: i sorta had a feeling it was you too. sounded like the way you type.
ben- that's an interesting take on it. i think i was more fixated on the whole "wife of your youth" deal.
som- josh thanks for being so honest. and i agree about the remaining a boy part, but then i think guys should be grown up before they get married...ya know? the whole responbility deal. or maybe it's like santification...continually happening.
i must admit dat diz article was quite a surprise esp. bcoz of d gr8 onslaught of books lyk "i just kissed dating goodbye" whose main premise has been endorsed by many church leaders and para-church leaders as well.
Shelly, I think we boys can grow up as much as we possibly can, even as much as think we can and still realize how foolish and silly we are when we get married. I totally agree with your statement that we need to be grown up before we're married but I think there is an aspect of growing up that is only possible to achieve when you are united with another human being as you are in marriage. This unity reveals the real you. The closeness attained in marriage is something that I think will expose tons of immaturity boys like me. These areas of immaturity will quickly become things we MUST grow out of if we are ever going to lead a family. So, I am NOT saying that marriage is a means to an end, the end being maturity. I'm saying that if you wait to get married until you have everything in order, you'll either miss out on all the fun of growing (in maturity) with your spouse or you won't get married at all.
I don't know if I agree - I need to think about is some more. It seems like most of her arguments are based on tradition, not the Bible. I agree that we don't want to presume we are wiser than people of the past, but I don't think we should just accept whatever they taught.
ReplyDeleteI will think some more.
single schmingle.
ReplyDeletewe love you and want to marry you.
okay, one of us does not want to marry you.BUT the other one would if you were a guy.
hmm. maybe not. just because its hard to imagine you as a guy.
but we love you all the same.
bisous,
the anonymous duo.
p.s. don't forget to get married!
....ok should i be creeped out by anonymous?
ReplyDeleteI wish she pointed out the specific areas of thought on the issue that she was refuting. I agreed with some things that she said but was not so familiar with what she was arguing against. I haven't even read much singleness propaganda.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the two sides really have their terms defined very well. If what is meant by "singleness" is that you don't have multiple intimate relationships before you finish high school, then I totally agree with the "gift of singleness." But, if it means simply remaining single throughout your 20 something years just for the sake of dedicating yourself to God's service, you're missing out on the chance to serve God and glorify Him through a marriage that both lifts Him up and draws you closer to him. I think singleness can actually be a hinderance to godliness if you stay that way too long. You can remain self centered (since marriage should forces lots of that out of you), you can get apathetic, or lazy, and anti-social. We must remember, Paul was a special case. I think that godly (intimate) relationships have the potential to make you fall very much in love with your creator.
I think a guy who remains single has a greater chance of also remaining a boy for much longer than is glorifying to God. Maybe he never will grow up.
wow, there is a lot to say.
All that keeps me single right now is fear and apathy. It is certainly not my godliness. I'm not saying that they are standing in line or anything and I am not saying that every guy is afraid and apathetic like me.
anycrap,
thanks for the link Shelly.
hmm...i don't know what i think..
ReplyDeleteBUT...as usual, Carolyn McCulley says what i WISH i could say...if only i was eloquent enough.
So without further adieu:
go here!
anonymous duo aka lyd and pri: i sorta had a feeling it was you too. sounded like the way you type.
ReplyDeleteben- that's an interesting take on it. i think i was more fixated on the whole "wife of your youth" deal.
som- josh thanks for being so honest. and i agree about the remaining a boy part, but then i think guys should be grown up before they get married...ya know? the whole responbility deal. or maybe it's like santification...continually happening.
aiyah..muddled
i must admit dat diz article was quite a surprise esp. bcoz of d gr8 onslaught of books lyk "i just kissed dating goodbye" whose main premise has been endorsed by many church leaders and para-church leaders as well.
ReplyDeletei'm not sure wat 2 think tho...
Shelly, I think we boys can grow up as much as we possibly can, even as much as think we can and still realize how foolish and silly we are when we get married. I totally agree with your statement that we need to be grown up before we're married but I think there is an aspect of growing up that is only possible to achieve when you are united with another human being as you are in marriage. This unity reveals the real you. The closeness attained in marriage is something that I think will expose tons of immaturity boys like me. These areas of immaturity will quickly become things we MUST grow out of if we are ever going to lead a family. So, I am NOT saying that marriage is a means to an end, the end being maturity. I'm saying that if you wait to get married until you have everything in order, you'll either miss out on all the fun of growing (in maturity) with your spouse or you won't get married at all.
ReplyDeletesom