Love Me Anyways

Sometimes it's like, "I'm so messed up. I need to go see a therapist. Wait, I am seeing a therapist."

Today and yesterday were those kind of days. I shouldn't be surprised by the crap that gets squeezed out of me anymore.

I've been extremely hesitant to put anything on this blog regarding my journey through burnout the past year because of a fear of misunderstanding. I was afraid that people would misunderstand God, and lose faith in Him because of what I was, and am going through.

I was afraid that people would misunderstand me, because let's face it blogs are one dimensional no matter how good of a wordsmith you are, and no matter what, people always judge.

Plus burnout is something that cannot be encapsulated through a one dimensional medium. I don't know even if multiple mediums would convey what it's like. It's something that you wouldn't fully understand unless you've walked through the darkness of the valley. And since I was never that good with words to begin with, I was hesitant.

As for people judging, if I was a blog stalker who came to this site from my Facebook profile because I am a "friend", or from another blog, the first sentence would make me think that the blogger is psychotic. Let's not lie to ourselves. We judge period.

So that's why I was silent, but I will be no more. I'm breaking the silence because leaving this kind of stuff in the dark is worse. It makes it scarier than it seems. I'll risk the misunderstanding.

Life is hard and crap like burnout and depression happen. We live in a craptacular world. But the good thing is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel though you might not see it for a loooooooooong time. And that's the honest truth.

So love me anyways.