relationships, relationships, relationships...
one thing us twenty year olds just can't stop talking about. ah well, might as well sit back and enjoy this ka-razy season of life. instead of waiting until we're middle-aged, married, living in a house with a white picket fence, with 2.5 children, and a pooch, let's just laugh at ourselves now. well i'll just laugh at myself now anyways. so silly.
and i say this with no bitterness.
seriously.
it's so funny. it's like a circus...sort of.
here's the consensus from a Christian viewpoint.
1. marriage is good. [point b]
2. single people should get married unless they're divinely called to a life of celibacy. [point a]
3. guys should take the lead....
that said. here's the diagram of where we are...
[point a]------>---?????????????????????????????????????--->------>[point b]
[????????????????????????]
is the part that people debate about until the cows come home, and they haven't yet....even though i live in guelph. :P it's so fun reading these articles. for your reading pleasure; the articles and the rebuttals.
ok so here's that first one:
Rethinking the Gift of Singleness
here's the theologian's rebuttal:
A Theologian's Take On The Gift of Singleness
the way he addresses the way that the author debbie maken uses scripture to back up her reasoning brings to my mind the verse about how not everyone should assume that they should be teachers. dum dum dum.
and another review of that said book...
30 and Single? It's Your Own Fault"
tsk. harsh title, eh? sounds like something an azn mum would say. "aiiiyah. 30 years old an' still no marry. own fault la! i arrange meeting with auntie so and so's daughter, but you no want. susie is nice girl. you not get younger. i want grandkids!" ahem...so in the review, the author says that one of the reason single women are unmarried is because of the lack of men as shown by a survey, BUT...
survey SAYS
There's Plenty of Men to go Around
*struggling very hard...not to...make...a...crack..about....guelph.*
then there's the lady who suggests pulling a ruth
Pulling a Ruth Part 1
Pulling a Ruth Part 2
so my point? i think we're just going 'round and 'round in circles. but it's fun watching.
what irks me is that some of these articles insinuate that praying and waiting isn't enough. life is complimacated enough as it is. can i not just wait, pray, and trust God to honour that prayer? granted 'tis may be harder for guys as your future wife doesn't have a glowing fuchsia "wife" sign on her forehead to let you know so you can initiate...on second thought maybe it's a good thing. but like honestly what about all those men who had revelations about who they're suppose to marry. i've heard quite a few real life stories. my nose has not been stuck in anne of green gables.
another random tidbit. heard from someone who heard from someone else who heard a missionary who remained single say that God heard her prayers, and God had sent, but the person sent refused to obey. is that valid????
tut tut
that is my favourite diagram ever.
ReplyDeleteThe way I see it is like this: we are to actively work at improving ourselves, prepare for, search/seek for, and pray for a job. Even though we have to trust God to provide us with a job, that doesn't mean that we shouldn't seek for one. Of course, that also doesn't mean that we seek for one outside of the will of God. I believe the principle of how God works and how we should work is in here. It's not wrong to take active measures in hopes to increase your chances of meeting someone (for example, meeting more people of the opposite gender). I don't know if I'm fully convinced that solely praying and sitting back is the way to meet one's spouse. God speaks to us through experience. Going back to the job example, when people take internships they are gaining experience to know if the job is something they want to do as a career. God can speak to us through experience and not just stepping back and praying for divine revelation. Of course, if you feel that God is calling you to go to India you shouldn't let the fear of not meeting someone stop you. You know you can trust God. But as long as you are operating within the Lord's will, why not take active measures?
ReplyDeleteOf course, I realize that a job and a spouse are two very different things. Actually, I think comparing a job to a relationship may even be seen as somewhat crass today. But it may be helpful to keep in mind that our jobs aren't just about money, but about how you spend most of your time in service to God (we are to work not as for men, but God). The principles on how God works and the issue of trust and faith I think has a common thread in both these issues.
I too like the diagram.
ReplyDeletewait, I'm not sure If I liked your azn mum quote better...
ReplyDeleteava: hun, totally agree with you on the working to improve ourselves bit. and totally agree with the being in God's will thing. the being active part is logical too. but i think my point in posting is this was not so much as to arrive at an "answer" for how to get married, but to acknowledge the fact that there is no "how-to-get-married" formula. i'm not saying that you're saying that though. it's just people talk and talk about getting married or how to get married, or speculate on how they're going to meet their future spouses and God always ends up surprising them anyways. the process of getting to the altar runs a whole gamut of experiences. but i don't think i was clear about that in the original post.
ReplyDeletejevy: most definitely agree with you that it's not good to assume something's settled when it's not. after as josh harris says a good courtship doesn't necessarily end in marriage. plus when you assume, you make an __ [synonym for donkey] out of you and me. but i think the point i was trying to make was that there are men out there who met their wives and knew it was so, but that's not necessarily the case for anyone.
zoe: i don't think you're far from the truth. :P
caveat: if you didn't notice...i have a pretty laissez-faire stance on this with a dash of hopeless romanticism. anne of green gables makes it sound so easy...but tis novels after all. have no fear my concerned peers...i still am grounded in 21st century reality.
Hey Shelly...
ReplyDeleteI think what makes it all so much more of an issue/drama/event within Christian circles is that it's automatically assumed things are serious if you are interested in a person.
As one person said to me, (not a direct quote but more or less what they said) "It's so hard within (unnamed Christian organization) because if I ask out someone in (said organization) it's automatically made into something huge and serious and people think we're going to get married. I can't even ask someone out on a casual date."
And personally from my standpoint - that just plain sucks.
People need to calm down and - as you said, Shelly - laugh at yourself!
All this coming from a happily married woman who married the second boy she dated.
So...I'm not sure if that negates everything I've just said.
blogspot is a liar! it only said u had 1 comments.
ReplyDeletei lykd diz post. and i lyk ur diagram and ur azn mom quote.
maybe i shud go buy and own a field... maybe datz how i'll find my ruth! hahaha
vanessa: i think i was there for that comment...hahaha
ReplyDeletesid: if and when you buy a field, you should do a whole barn raising shindig. and blogspot does lie sometimes. 'tis true 'tis true. revelations 21:8 :P
people need to chill out. your last point about someone being called to singleness as a result of someone else disobeying the call to marriage... it's just strange how in the process of trying to understand God's vast will, we limit him to a box, to a method with which we expect him to work. people always tell of their own love story and other people think, "oh... that's how it's done." in fact, married people will tell others that their way is how it's supposed to be done. but I've seen people with shaky meetings with *interesting* getting-together circumstances (for example: started dating their spouse while they were dating someone else) or with "stumblings" in their relationship come together and have a wonderful blessed marriage. I think the point that God tries to make (perhaps) is that it's about his grace. not about our own ability to make something happen or not happen. it's about his grace.
ReplyDeleteand that does NOT mean that single people fall out of God's grace. not at all. singleness could be the greatest grace of all. anyway. I think that if God sent someone who disobeyed, who's to say God isn't big enough to send someone better, or make the person go?
so people need to chill out. that's my main point.